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 Post subject: Martial Arts Humor
PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 1998 2:13 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 17, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 157
Location: Evansville, IN, USA
Some of you may not have seen this before. Enjoy!

Osu!
Jason

When martial artists say... They really mean...
Japanese Martial Arts are the best I practice a Japanese Martial Art
This Art is thousands of years old This style is decades old
The Martial Arts are about building better people The Martial Arts are about sweat, bruises, and money
Chinese Martial Arts are the best I practice a Chinese Martial Art
High kicks are stupid I can't do high kicks
Sparring is extremely important I'm good at fighting, I like it, and I can't do much of anything else
The Martial Arts are about building better people The Martial Arts are about beating people up if they lay a finger on you
Korean Martial Arts are the best I practice a Korean Martial Art
Breaking techniques are very important We do a lot of breaking techniques
I don't believe in grades Nobody ever gave me a high grade
Filipino Martial Arts are the best I practice a Filipino Martial Art
Sophisticated Arts like Tai Chi and Aikido are far superior Sparring frightens me
He's a good martial arts teacher He's in my organization
He's a lousy martial arts teacher He used to be in my organization but he broke away and I don't get any money out of him anymore
My style is the best I don't know anything about any other styles
Breaking techniques are useless I can't do breaking techniques
I am an innovative, free-thinking, modern, Western Martial Arts Teacher, doing my own, non-classical thing I am more interested in teaching than learning and the Orientals ignore me because they know how ignorant I am
I hate martial arts politics None of the large, well-established organizations recognize me or have the slightest interest in my existence
Competitions are a waste of time I never won any competitions
Forms or Kata are the highest expression of the inner essence of the Martial Arts I read that somewhere - and I've had enough of tournaments
Forms of Kata are useless Bruce Lee said forms are useless and this relieves me of a lot of effort so go argue with him
Bruce Lee didn't know what he was talking about I don't know what Bruce Lee was talking about
Size and strength are not important Size and strength are important - especially if you are fighting somebody who is bigger and stronger than you are


[This message has been edited by Jason Bernard (edited 11-24-98).]


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 Post subject: Martial Arts Humor
PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 1998 2:19 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 17, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 157
Location: Evansville, IN, USA
Sorry the post got all messed up. I appears
to have compressed multiple spaces into a single space?

Bill, you can delete this thread if you wish.

Jason


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 Post subject: Martial Arts Humor
PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 1998 2:45 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 29, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 204
Jason,

I enjoyed it despite the lack of spacing (BTW, your posts are often formatted 'oddly,' do you cut and paste from somewhere else??). It's a great format for pointing out how our most cherished truths about the arts we study so seriously are inevitably the butt of someone else's jokes (except of course *my* arts - but that goes without saying).
Hopefully, people will add to the list. One immediate contribution off the top of my head would be "Speaking Japanese [Chinese, Korean, Tagalog, etc.] in the dojo is silly, after all, we are in America" (I don't understand that language). Or, how about "No, we don't attack like *that*" (I'm not sure I can defend against that /or/ wow, I'm gonna get my ass kicked)... and so on.

greg
(BTW, was this a copy, or were these yours?)


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 Post subject: Martial Arts Humor
PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 1998 3:18 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 17, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 157
Location: Evansville, IN, USA
Greg-san,

I apologize for not giving credit where credit was due (as I usually try to do).

<a href="http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/fun5/madoublespeak">Martial Arts Doublespeak</a>

As for my unusual format. I tend to hit enter when I reach the end of the line in the input box and so I tend to have shorter lines. I have been trying to change my habit but sometimes you will still see the occasional shortened line where I hit enter. Bad Jason.

Osu!
Jason


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