Have you ever considered the big picture when assessing a fight situation?
In various cyber skirmishes I have witnessed, I marvel at the differences in style of the many participants. Sometimes it starts because someone is insensitive and the others are hypersensitive. Sometimes it starts because several parties have a dislike for each other. And then there are those situations where I sense a darker, Machiavelian air. In this situation, the party enters and clearly wants to start a conflict. This party or parties may want to embarrass someone or set them up for a challenge.
When I was younger, I was a creature of the night. If it weren't for a son and HIS school schedule, I'd probably still be staying up until 4 AM on most nights. These late nights gave me ample opportunity to witness and occasionally be the target of a number of fight situations. Three scenarios come to mind.
In one scenario, a group of folks are walking towards you. In the group is a very small fellow who happens to bump (or sometimes just punch) you as he goes by. They wait for a response.
In a second situation (one that happened to me), a fellow comes up to you and asks you if you want to scrap or fight or wrestle. His disposition is lively if not exactly "normal". Two of his friends are "lurking" in the background.
And in a third situation, you witness a "good cop, bad cop" situation. Person A is out of control. Person B is friendly, and warns you about Person A. Person B has an agenda.
It's easy to read about these things and imagine what the proper response is. But I wonder just what kind of variability in response there is among people. And what kinds of responses lead to the best outcomes? How often do we walk around with our emotional soft spots exposed for others to take advantage of? Too often I see "emotional" behavior get the best of someone. A smart adversary is able to capitalize on this, even if the emotion translates to aggression. In fact I'm willing to bet that some of the most dangerous adversaries actually count on and anticipate that aggressive and/or emotional response.
Without going into re-writing DeBecker's book, I'm wondering if others have observed and had thoughts about these "traps" that are out there waiting for the gullible and for those that cannot control their ego, temper, aggresion and fear.
[This message has been edited by Bill Glasheen (edited 01-27-99).]