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 Post subject: On The lighter side
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 1999 3:51 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 16, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 669
Or is that on the light saber side!

GRIP THE FLOOR, LUKE!

Enjoy, Kevin

Pretty funny.....

You might be a Redneck Jedi if...
You ever said the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your front yard.
The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the
dark
side...it’ll be a hoot.”
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to light your barbecue grill.
You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get
in
through the window.
Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
If you hear . . . “Luke, I am your father ... and your uncle”


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 Post subject: On The lighter side
PostPosted: Thu May 20, 1999 1:32 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 18, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 619
Kevin, What A Coincidence!

This very topic was on the radio yesterday morning during my drive in. The Force must have been with me!

Here's an add-on: To make your name resemble that of a Jedi Warrior, take the first 3 letters of your first name, the name of the model of car you drive, and the last medication or herb you took. For example, I would be:

Jac Blazer from OPC-3


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 Post subject: On The lighter side
PostPosted: Tue May 25, 1999 4:47 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 16, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 5985
Location: Mount Dora, Florida
Camping Trip

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'

Watson replied, 'I see millions and millions of stars.'

'What does that tell you?'

Watson pondered for a minute.
'Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that the lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you Holmes?'

Holmes was silent for a moment, then spoke. 'Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent.'


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 Post subject: On The lighter side
PostPosted: Sat May 29, 1999 12:32 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 16, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 5985
Location: Mount Dora, Florida
What is a cat?

1. Cats do what they want
2. They rarely listen to you
3. They're totally unpredictable
4. They whine when they are not happy
5. When you want to play, they want to be alone
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim
8. They're moody
9. They leave hair everywhere
10. They drive you nuts, and cost an arm and a leg

Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs lie around the house all day, sprawled on the
most comfortable piece of furniture
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block
away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room
3. They can look dumb and loveable all at the same time
4. They growl when they are not happy
5. When you want to play, they want to play
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play
7. They're great at begging
8. They will love you forever, if you rub their tummies
9. They leave their toys everywhere
10. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss

Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats


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