Thanks to all...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bill B.:
I would like to get your ideas on 1. What if you were told tomorrow that you had a terminal disease, you don't know how long you have left. How do you THINK you would handle that situation.
I only ask you to think about this so we can get into the second point, preparation. My first reaction was I figured I had a week maybe a month to live. I had no idea, up to that point, that I had so many loose ends.
So maybe with my "experience", I can help you "prepare".
...dying is part of life. Don't sit around waiting for it but take care of those loose ends.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Many things to say... where to start...
My Momma was told in 1987 that she had ~6 months. They had operated on the cancer in her throat and jaw, but then found inoperable cancer in her lungs. Changed her life... She was told that with Chemo and Radiation, she'd maybe
get extended to ~15 months. Those two therapies were going to last for ~9 months, so she said forget it...
She and my Daddy spent considerable time "tying up loose ends"... Not the least of which was the fact that they were told that for tax reasons, they would be best to transfer as much as possible into my Daddy's name. They did. Daddy always felt guilty because, you see, he was a smoker since serving during the Korean war... Momma didn't smoke and got cancer, Daddy did and his x-rays and check-ups showed his lungs were just fine.
(No doubt about the effects of second-hand smoke here...)
Daddy started smoking on the back porch... summer, winter, made no difference. Three and a half years ago, he caught viral pnuemonia and died in less than a week... no warning. My Momma was devastated. He was the one that had taken her for her check-ups... he was the one that had nursed her through every surgery for those 10 years with ~one surgery per year for her jaw and throat cancer... Everything was in his name and he got the visit from Mr. Death first. So, forget that tax advice.
A few months ago, my Momma (still rather depressed as we all are even this long after Daddy's passing) told me that she had just finished her second group. I asked what she meant. When she was first diagnosed, they put her with a support group of others with the same type of cancer. As people passed away, she took note (naturally) and when the last person that was originally there (besides her) passed away, she figured that was the end of the first group and took note of who were all the members then... A few months ago, the last of those
people passed away and that was the end of the second group. Now she's afraid that there will still be loose ends when she passes. Not something to worry about, I say. Certainly you can take care of some things, but there will almost assuredly be some
As if losing Daddy 3-1/2 years ago wasn't enough, that summer (~3 years ago) was when I ended up in the hospital... I didn't even call or tell my family (until after I pulled through) because I didn't want them to get upset unless things didn't work out. It is an entirely different and unexplainable feeling to have the nurse/doctor walk into your room and ask you to fill out a living will, sign an organ donor card, and last (but certainly the most enlightening to me on how bad things were) give you a pad of paper and a pen "to write any last messages to anyone... ummmm, just in case."
Lori-san, one of the things that was the most difficult for me... people, even friends, family and loved ones, just don't understand the depression... It's hard when you used
to be able to do things and it takes time
to recouperate. (Striking that deal with Death musta helped, but still...
) Between recoup time and depressed time, it's easy to get even more out of shape, which starts a spiral downward. Some of us are lucky enough that we decide (at some point, even if it does take a few years
), no matter what, to start climbing back up. Perhaps I'll never get back in shape the way I was, but just like bushido, it's all about the journey. So, I stay on the path... running no more, sometimes crawling, sometimes walking... sometimes just laying down to take a break... regardless, it's the way
Keep the faith and...
be good to each other...