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 Post subject: The Respect Factor
PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 1999 2:29 am 
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“I have often said that MA become cult-like. Some people REALLY need the ego support of titles and "respect." “ [ J.D.] ….from Bill Glasheen’s forum !!

As an aside , I remember going to Evan Pantazi sensei’s dojo with Bob Bethoney for kyusho instruction and the both of us did not wear our black belts out of respect for Mr. Pantazi !

Ha …Respect ! Pretty big word ! How do you measure it ? It is what goes round and round in your peers’ heads that pegs you down to your destiny ; what remains unsaid that makes up the plank you will be walking sooner or later ! Listen to your inner self talk at times when you read the pontificators of these forums >> “ But can he back it up ? Can this guy really go?’ Then ask yourself why that little man on your shoulders is yelling this question in your ear !

It has been said that in life most people will respect a man if he is a gentleman ; and a woman , if she comports like a lady ! Sadly , in today’s world not many seem to qualify !

Then you have the martial arts world : And here is the kicker …like J.D.’s proverbial bucket of ice water dumped on your crotch …. The majority of your martial arts peers will only respect you if you are or have been a fighter of various persuasions ! They may not say that to your face but that’s what they think !!

Also if you keep on taking insults and turn the other cheek as an ‘ enlightened ‘ master would do , your peers will both consciously and subconsciously loose respect for you and , worse, they will show it in subliminal ways you will pick up on and make you disquiet to your surprise !

Your respect is earned in the way you act, talk and move , and in the way you have acted , talked and moved through your martial arts career ! You cannot please everyone , but the tale is told by the mannerism which most practitioners , who themselves are held in high esteem , exhibit around your presence !

As to a lesson in mindset out of this , your survival in violent confrontations may depend on how much subconscious ‘ respect ‘ you instill in your adversary’s mind ! I.E., you must project the impression that you are much worse , much more determined and ruthless than the ‘tough guy’ who is trying to brow beat you into submission emotionally and physically !


Taking respect one step further ….think how many punks will really let you walk away from a fight today “ they see it as a weakness. It gives them a buzz and serves as an appetite for their ego : the main meal is shoving your head into the pavement “ { Thompson}

Can you project this inner resolve and dignified behavior by your demeanor in the dojo and around your peers ?

------------------
Van Canna


[This message has been edited by Van Canna (edited 04-23-99).]


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 Post subject: The Respect Factor
PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 1999 3:44 am 
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Posts: 405
Location: Tewksbury, MA USA
Sensei:

My respect. . .

is yours!

Gary

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Gary J. Khoury
http://www.uechi-ryu.com/khoury


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 Post subject: The Respect Factor
PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 1999 10:54 am 
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Posts: 2075
Location: Boston, MA
Van Sensei,

I honestly don't care about "respect" from others, as long as I can look myself in the mirror and not cringe.

I don't want respect from the bad guy either. I just want him to have a nagging feeling if not a sure sense that I'll have a chunk of him if he wants a go.

Sorry, just got back from Maine. I always come back with the feeling that looking inward, not outward to others, is the way to go. But I'm sure I'll get caught back in the rat race soon enough...

david


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 Post subject: The Respect Factor
PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 1999 12:51 am 
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Gary –sensei

Thank you ; the feeling is mutual ; the future of Uechi-Ryu is in good hands with talented practitioners like you !

David –san and J.D.-san , I know exactly how you feel and I certainly respect your views ! Permit me to elaborate :

Lets not forget we practice a martial art shaped by the code of Bushido : Like the rules of chivalry that prevailed in medieval Europe, Bushido was based on such virtues as rectitude, endurance, frugality, courage, politeness, veracity and respect ! A code of conduct , if you will !

Respect can also be defined as consideration , honor , esteem , courtesy , due decorum ; qualities critical to a martial role model for generations to come !

If I ever met a person who embodied such fine ideals , it had to be Tomoyose –sensei ; fearsome underlying power manifesting through distinguishing traits of a man of good breeding with cultured general elegance of manners ! A calm imperturbable quiet pervading all his actions and thoughts !

Behavior is a mirror in which everyone shows his own image ! Sadly , the majority of martial artists is an ego-centric bunch suffering from innate bad qualities , foolish vanity , from indolence , stupidity , distraction of thought , contempt of others, and jealousy !

This quote I like : “ To have respect for ourselves guides our morals , and to have deference for others governs our manners “ __Sterne

The style shows the man and others ‘take notice’ [ another way to define respect ] !

In reality , there is pedantry in all our martial arts manners , i.e., the overrating of any kind of knowledge we pretend to , matched , more often than not , to a narrow vulgar soul which prevents us from seeing all sides and hearing all things !


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Van Canna


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 Post subject: The Respect Factor
PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 1999 11:02 am 
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Location: Boston, MA
>>In reality , there is pedantry in all our martial arts manners , i.e., the overrating of any kind of knowledge we pretend to , matched , more often than not , to a narrow vulgar soul which prevents us from seeing all sides and hearing all things ! <<

Van sensei, what you wrote is right on. Regarding "respect" and fighting skills, I just think it's important for a practitioner to not totally tie one to the other in our practices. I think trying one's best in all facets of one's life and self-respecting oneself for that is more important. Develop an inner compass and the will to follow it. Buffetted we may be every so often by the opinions of others, we nevertheless stay the course.

Part of me is reacting to the Colorado incident which I learned about coming back from Maine. What distorted need for "respect" drove these two young men to indulge in such a carnage...?

david


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