I'm with you, Lori,
... although I tend to stay to the spiritual/philosophical side (hence, MY own forum
), I've been known to venture on into testosterone territory now and then...
Actually, playing situational ethics here with the given scenarios (I'm kind of losing track of this thread ... thanks Van for brining it home), I don't think the first code of war is to escalate. After confrontation, and DE-escalation is usually called for. Depending on the situation, I would want to defuse the energy not amp it.
A strong "watch it, buddy" and glare usually backs off a lot of guys. If I have been offended, an in-your-face-you-have-no-right-etc.etc. may humiliate the offender. Although, as you say Van, as psychopaths, they probably don't care what happens. And, in the close confines of an elevator ... I would not want to be boxed in.
MIKE: My SO (significant other) will "champion" me if the energy warrants it. But, he has learned to let me handle it first, where/when appropriate. I was at a dinner party (his friends) where an old friend was harrassing me verbally -- I held back my usual sass because I didn't know the ground rules ... My guy calmy responded to him by saying ..."you don't want to make her angry, you really don't want to make her angry." Now I assume the guy backed off because he just didn't know what to expect from either of us. End of problem.
If I think of anything else...I'll post more later.
[This message has been edited by Jackie Olsen (edited 05-17-99).]