13 things

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13 things

Postby Van Canna » Thu Feb 07, 2013 3:51 am

http://www.policeone.com/columnists/Tim ... lice-work/

1.) One of the things my upbringing did not prepare me for was the complete lack of civility that some people have. I didn’t think of myself as having been sheltered from evil as a child, but I did not learn that some people have absolutely no regard for the welfare of anyone but themselves, and lash out at anyone who tries to make them aware they are not the only people on the planet.

2. ) Everyone has a “hot button.” Calm and even-tempered as you might be, there is some topic that will set you off, especially if it’s referenced to you personally. It might be your height, your weight, your sexuality, your education, how much money you have, your mom, whatever. Rational people can become maniacs if someone pushes their buttons.

3.) Although they may not know it, there are people who find these hot buttons instinctively, and they live to push them.

4.) Never underestimate what people will do for sex, money, and/or power. That applies to everyone, from the basest criminal to the most saint-like person you know.

5.) People can be sexually aroused by almost anything. There are practices people engage in for sexual reasons that you will find baffling and utterly disgusting. You can gain some limited insight here by going to a reasonably-well-stocked adult bookstore and examining the diversity of the materials. If your thing is watching overweight Asian women give each other enemas, there are not just other people who enjoy the same thing, there is probably a regular magazine and series of videos devoted to it.

6.) No matter how bizarre you find other folks’ sexual preferences, you have to be at peace with knowing that what consenting adults do in private is their business alone. If they decide to take it public or engage people who either don’t consent or are too young to do so, you can get involved.

7.) Law enforcement is a very stressful occupation, but most of the stress comes from the political interactions and power games within each law enforcement agency. The stuff on the street can be stressful, but you learn to deal with that quickly or you get out. About half of the people who become law enforcement officers leave before they have five years on the job. Some get fired for unsuitability, incompetence, or misconduct, but others find out it’s just not for them.

8.) High-speed chases look like fun because they are.

9.) Once you become a cop, very few of your non-cop friends will ever again treat you the same way. You will be introduced by your profession for the rest of your life. People are never going to be comfortable with the group charged with detecting and making them accountable for their bad conduct.

10.) Many criminals can be reformed, and eventually do come to the point in their lives that a criminal lifestyle is more trouble than it’s worth to them. Unfortunately, by the time some of them do that, they have incurred a prison sentence that will keep them behind bars until they die.

11.) Criminals who do not fit into the above category are mostly predators, and should be locked up permanently.

12.) Never say, “Now I’ve seen it all.” There will always be innovators.

13.) Take away alcohol and stupid, and the world would require about 90 percent fewer cops.
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Van Canna
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Re: 13 things

Postby Van Canna » Thu Feb 07, 2013 3:55 am

And now...24 things cops know, but most people don’t_

1.) Even though you say differently, you probably don’t know your rights.

2.) If you leave your teenager in charge of the house while you go away for the weekend, he or she will probably do something you forbade them to do. If they decide to host a beer party, your house will be wrecked.

3.) You can’t talk your way out of a ticket. Lots of people talk themselves into one.

4.) Of course it went off. What did you expect would happen when you pulled the trigger?

5.) The electronics in your radar or laser detector work no faster than those in my radar or LIDAR gun. By the time the little red light goes on, I already have your speed.

6.) We know you had more than two beers.

7.) If you grew up with guns in the house, you probably knew how to get to them, even though your parents thought they had them hidden or locked away. Don’t think your kids are any less ingenious.

8.) Arguing with me here will not go well for you. Arguments are for courtrooms, where you can make any statements and ask me any questions you want. Out here, I win all the arguments.

9.) We really don’t care how many FOP, State Sheriffs Association or 11-99 Foundation stickers you buy for your car. If you deserve the ticket, you’re getting it.

10.) Yes, you do pay my salary. Today’s obligation can be calculated by the following formula:
((Amount you pay annually in state, county, or city taxes/365) x (Fraction of budget allocated for law enforcement))/(Number of employees in my organization)

11.) I’d be happy to give you a refund. Do you have change for a penny?

12.) Most able-bodied people really can do those tests while sober.

13.) You are not the first person to see a cop and say "Take him, he did it," "I didn’t do it," or to tell your kid, "If you don’t behave, that cop will put you in jail." You probably aren’t even the first one to say that today. You have, however, caused me to mentally label you as a moron.

14.) The gun isn’t to protect you. It is to protect me.

15.) Your substance abuse problem is your business until it spills over into someone else’s life. Now, you are the problem.

16.) I don’t especially care what your race, religion, sexual preference, ethnicity, political affiliation or economic status is. I do have a bias against assholes.

17.) Can anyone here point out this person’s parents? He just asked me if I knew who his father was, and I don’t.

18.) Believe it or not, you really don’t drive better with a few drinks in you.

19.) Do unto others, but do it first.

20.) We are not armed, uniformed scribes. If someone has threatened, insulted, or otherwise vexed you in some non-criminal way and you want it put on record, write it down, take it to a notary public, and sign it in their presence. Poof, you have a record. If we could make one change to improve society, better parenting would be toward the top of the list.

21.) There probably are teenagers who can handle alcohol responsibly outside the direct supervision of an adult. We never run into them, though.

22.) Please press firmly, you are making four copies.

23.) You are in ______________. We don’t care how they do it in ___________.

24.) Yes, you very well may see me in court. I get paid overtime to be there, win or lose.
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Van Canna
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