Tony, this implies then that if you could get away without conflict at all that you would take the opportunity. After all, if you would only kill him due to self-presevation, than the smartest way to "self-preseve" is to avoid the battle in the first place. In all honesty, any sane and honest man must really wonder if they would take the chance to flee as well! There is a story about a young seaman on a boat who has this daydream that the ship is sinking and on fire, and he dashes about saving the captain, and the passengers etc. He is woken from his dream by the ship catching a blaze and the captain yelling abandon ship ... he is the first in line at the life boats! In the face of true danger there are few of us who can really know how we will react. But this is a tangent. My apologies.
In any event, I find your post to be interesting and honest. So, back to my original question, if you could get away from the conflict without harm, would you take that opportunity? Keeping in mind that this is all hypothetical, if after the fact the parents of a slain child found out that you had a chance to kill the murderer and escaped instead and decided that they hated you for it and held you partially responsible for their childs death in their hearts, would you think they would be justified?
The obvious question to follow up with is: How would this make you feel (i.e. would you feel somewhat responsible)? And perhaps that is something to consider, but not something to answer here. There are certain things that are meant to stay private.
P.s. - I have some scanned pictures of Rayna. Bill was saying I should contact you to have them posted, let me know where I can send them: firstname.lastname@example.org