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 Post subject: What would you do?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 27, 1999 7:46 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 18, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 343
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Van,

FWIW, IMHO here are some very sensible ways to avoid most confrontations.

1) Be respectful and polite to all who come your way (so long as they do the same) otherwise just ignore 'em.

2) Be ever aware of who is around and what they are doing. Size 'em up, they're doing the same to you.

3) Don't trust anyone that you do not know very well. Stay ever vigilant against those who attempt to enter your home, your vehicle or engage you in conversation on the street.

4) Fight to defend your person, your family, friends and your home. Any other reason to fight just 'aint worth it. Verbal garbage belongs in the trashcan and you know it, so why worry about it.

5) Don't go to or travel through locations you know might be trouble. If you do choose to go to or travel through unfamiliar territory (including parties in neighborhoods you don't know)dress approriately, learn the informal rules and the "players" and don't mess with either of them.

Sorry Lori, going to 7-11 at night,located in a strip mall was probably not the best choice for any woman. I know that every woman has the right to go unmolested wherever she travels but such is not the case. I recommend that you teach your daughter to frequent large, very active grocery stores during normal business hours. Yes, I understand the inconvenience but this is better than getting verbally trashed by some punks in a 7-11 lot. Chances are this would be less likely to happen in a parking lot of a well-attended grocery store during regular business hours And no I am not blaming you, as the victim, for this incident. I would have reported the punks to the business that owned the van and then pressed for immediate disciplinary action by the business. I would have also insisted that your anonymity be protected by the business and inform the owners of that business that you have contacted a lawyer for consultation on this matter. I might also have contacted the 7-11 owners and asked why they don't have proper security in their lots and let them know that you will not frequent their store unless they provide security.

6) When trouble does come up, use your head. Your mind is the most powerful force against attack. Try misdirection, cunning, etc. Sometimes intimidation may work but only if you are willing to put your skills to the test. (I abbreviated one situation just by rolling up my sleeves).

7) If you do have to defend, hit hard, hit fast and leave.

8) Road rage, Don't cut off other cars, leave room in front of you to move around (don't get hemmed in and don't tailgate), let fools pass (so what if they reach the intersection 30 seconds before you do). Play classical music while driving it will keep you relaxed.

9) Stay away from low-lifes and don't act like a jerk.


Mike


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 Post subject: What would you do?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 1999 1:16 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 01, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 244
Location: Marblehead, MA USA
Van, I agree. I can remember every detail of two seperate incidents where I used the "better part of valor" and backed down from situations where I should've backed down. I even remember complete descriptions: colors, physical details, license plates, voices, etc. But friends have to remind me of several (many) fights that have occured and win lose or draw they don't take up much of my cerebral space.?. I guess it's mental maturity and we have to work on it.

miked, I heartily agree with #7 "... and leave." I've seen a ton of people win the skirmish and hang out 'til someone gets their beer b...s up to hit them from behind with a bottle. Maybe that would have been avoided by not "hanging with low-lifes"
However I don't agree with the classical music. I tighten up as soon as I hear it. I had a Dentist who used to play it to calm his nerves while he drilled my nerves. Pavlov's dental drill?


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 Post subject: What would you do?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 1999 2:57 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 05, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 989
Location: Randolph, MA USA 781-963-8891
Gary-san,

You certainly did the right thing and should feel proud of yourself, because that's what budo is all about. Although I think we all wish as you did that a chunk of concrete would fall off the stadium and crush those idiots :-)

I, like everyone else could relate a story to you about a similiar situation, but it would probably bore people senseless. If you're really interested, see me at camp and I'll tell you a good one.

Cya this weekend,

mike


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 Post subject: What would you do?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 1999 5:53 am 
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Joined: Thu May 06, 1999 6:01 am
Posts: 288
Location: Randolph Ma USA
Van Sensei,

Thank you for your response to my comment regarding how i feel after "avoiding" a conflict.

Your insight on these matters certainly help to shed some light upon the psycological variences that may accompany the choice not to engage in physical conflict.

Certainly i have felt this conflict within myself as i'm sure others have.
The few times i had no choice or opportunity to "avoid" the situation i was fortunate enough to walk away without injury.

Maybe i have not met the "Grim Reaper"
yet who can tear me a new ___ ____. I hope that i never do upon some dark secluded place. As you mentioned somewhere, some of us have not ran across a real "life threatening" situation. To be honest about it, i hope that i never due! If and when i do, i certainly hope that my sense of awareness will give me opportunity to adjust to the situation as needed. Whatever that may be. I do believe that "awareness" and "positioning" are the most important things in a situation of potential danger.

Certainly many of us would "like" to believe that we could handle anyone at anytime under any circumstances. I think that as long as one knows this is not the case, we have a much better chance at walking away from "potential situations" than those others.

We should have confidence in ourselves in the face of confrontation. Surely that alone has worked in some situations. However, when that is not enough, one will surely find out what their skills are. That will also depend upon who is before you, how many of them there are, what kind of weapon is present (if any) etc. etc.

A student once asked me "how will i ever know if this stuff really works?" My reply was, "you may never know!"

------------------
Gary S.


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