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 Post subject: Knowledge helps, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 1999 10:19 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 17, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 2075
Location: Boston, MA
I was struck by two recent cases in the area that left me pondering the question that has come up in various post from time to time. Nature vs. Nurture.

As some already know, the Boston school teacher that had been missing after taking a ride from a stranger after her car broke down was found buried in a shallow grave. She had been tied to a tree, raped and stabbed multiple times in the neck. It was reported that this woman had worked as battered women's counselor and in some other report as a rape counselor. She was also clearly a person who cared: She was coming back from training ride for the AIDS Ride to NYC when her car broke down. She had a message posted to herself on her fridge (?), "What can I do today to help?", as a constant reminder. It sounds like she is a true loss to many unsung folks out there. And like those folks, her death was barely noticed as it coincided with the news the missing plane of a more famous person. Thankfully, a suspect -- the person who picked her up and has a record of assaults -- is in custody.

Shortly after the teacher disappeared, another woman, a BC student, hitchhiked a ride with a total stranger. The stranger took her to a secluded spot along the Charles River and attemped to rape her. She escaped by jumping into the river, screaming all the way. Her screaming drew attention. A passerby followed the attacker who drove off to avoid the commotion. The attacker was caught. In one report, someone was quoted as saying s/he can't believe the stupidity of this woman to take a ride, especially in light of the news of the disappeared teacher.

Two incidents: different outcomes. One with more experience and knowledge about assaults on women died. The other lives, despite apparent initial naivete. Luck, nurture, nature... What were the deciding factors?

I have a friend who was recently hired as the director for a battered woman's program. Talking to her shortly afterwards, she noticed the knife in my pocket. She asked if that was a knife and why was I carrying it. Being a friend, I told her honestly that it was part of my preparedness. The look of horror and disgust on her face. "Why do you need that?", she asked. I said, "Look, you work with women who are battered and in fear for their lives and that of their children. How many of these have been protected by the police? How many have your shelter lost in recent years?" (I know the answer -- two in the past several years.) My friend who works intimately with one of the darker issue in our society was disgusted that I (generally a good guy, I think... Please don't say otherwise, even if you think it!) would be carrying a knife and willing to use it if need be to defend myself and/or others.

Nature or Nurture?

david

[This message has been edited by david (edited 07-24-99).]


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 Post subject: Knowledge helps, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 1999 11:46 am 
David,

These are the types of people who are trying to remove gun ownership from the general population. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she reported you to the police, behind your back, for carrying a concealed weapon.

Ignorance and stupidity has to be on the forefront of the brains of those who hitchike a ride today.



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Allen - [email]uechi@ici.net">uechi@ici.net</A> - <A HREF="http://www.uechi-ryu.org[/email]


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 Post subject: Knowledge helps, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 1999 2:36 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 17, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 2075
Location: Boston, MA
Hi Allen,

Despite our heartfelt difference on this matter, I have no reason to distrust this woman's loyalty, honor and integrity. I respect her and am proud to have her as a friend.

david


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 Post subject: Knowledge helps, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 1999 2:44 pm 
Just an opinion, David, and I hope she remains your good friend. Maybe because she is your friend already, you can manintain a trusting relationship and have her understand and agree with your mindset.

My best on this.

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Allen - [email]uechi@ici.net">uechi@ici.net</A> - <A HREF="http://www.uechi-ryu.org[/email]


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 Post subject: Knowledge helps, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 1999 7:56 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 21, 1999 6:01 am
Posts: 6
Location: worcester,Ma.
Hi Dave;
You asked what the deciding factors were. i suggest reading a book called "the evil that men do". It's about profiling a rape/murder offender. It's co-authered by Roy Hazzelwood from the B.S.U. department of the F.B.I. To sum up the book, he says there are five different types of rapeists. They are all trying to live out a fantasy. If this includes physical abuse they will inflict it. If it includes murder they will do that as well. However, whether or not a woman fights back has no bearing on the amount of abuse inflicted or whether or not she is murdered. It is all up to the offenders fantasy. Also some offenders are random and haphazard others are experieced and plan their attacks well in advance.


steve
~~~~~


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 Post subject: Knowledge helps, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 1999 9:06 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am
Posts: 30510
Poignant observations! But the answer is a simple one:

Most females in US society are raised not to fight, that it is not ladylike to fight, that violence, even in self-defense is somehow wrong, that all weapons are sinister [especially the knife which is associated with the thug mentality]; that anyone carrying a weapon, especially a knife, is a lower class individual, a paranoid spoiling for a fight! Similar connotations are, not surprisingly, assigned to martial artists by the populace at large!

A very good reason not to ever advertise or flag any of the above! I remember at a business meeting once, using a pocket knife I carry in my brief case, to cut the plastic wrap from cassette tapes to be used in my recording device to interview some witnesses! The sight of the blade made people very nervous to the point where I checked it in with the receptionist!

And we are right back to “natural selection” __ never –never forget that! Like who you are and what your upbringing was!

Research into assaults upon women is not very encouraging for the average female! Although the trained female martial artist with the proper “mindset” increases her chances of survival they do not fare as well as the women from a lower socio-economic scale brought up in “tougher neighborhoods” as Cecil has pointed out, I believe, on a few occasions. And without possessing any martial arts skills! Those women have a different mindset and sharpened wolverine instincts!

Then we have the armed female with that “certain mindset “ ____

Contrast: An attractive woman {Kate Petit} breaks down on the highway; car is burning so she has to get out instead of locking herself in!
Feelings of helplessness, frustration, worry, fears of predators!
Expensive looking car stops with a well-dressed gentleman, very polite, very respectable! As she talks to him, he pulls a knife, presses it into her rib cage, and orders her into the trunk of his large car!
Initially she goes numb when she realizes she is this man’s prisoner!
Then comes shock when the man drives for half an hour, the last few minutes on an unpaved road, all the while yelling at her from the driver’s seat what he is going to do to her in the most obscene language and how he was going to kill her afterwards!

The car stopped, Kate recalls the big sound of the key in the trunk lock, by now she had repositioned so that she was lying on her back, her feet tucked up under her, her knees pushing hard up against the inside of the license plate wall.

Kate’s head was jammed up against the back seat, and she hoped her view of the attacker would not be obstructed when he opened the trunk!

All she remembers next is the flood of daylight momentarily blinding her when the trunk lid popped open revealing the screaming maniac with the blade, and… the almost slow motion sight of three bullet holes being made in the man’s chest by her .38 caliber revolver she had taken out of her purse and determinately aimed at the trunk opening lying in wait!

He slumped dead on top of her spilling blood on her clothes and almost suffocating her! She gashed her forehead getting out of the trunk, stuffed the body in the trunk, went over by a tree at the side of the road and threw up glad to be alive! {From Paxton Quigley’s book _ “ Armed and female”}

------------------
Van Canna


[This message has been edited by Van Canna (edited 07-24-99).]


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 Post subject: Knowledge helps, but...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 1999 10:53 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 17, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 2075
Location: Boston, MA
Interesting posts, all. I didn't post all the details for the cases, nor were they all available. What's missing is that the teacher who got killed supposedly tried to avoid this man. It took over an hour before she got in the car with him. Even in the car she was able to make a cell call to let her mother know where she was at initially. These details are suggestive of wariness -- "a gift of fear" -- but the alleged attacker was patient and waited her out. A mistake was also made in that the cell, whether his or hers, could have been used to call a towing company or the police for assistance.

The second woman supposedly knew something was going on when her attacker started driving to a secluded area and not in the direction she wanted to go. The fact that she escaped, screaming, would suggest she was prepared to act.

Dr X's post points to nurture, perhaps of a self-deluding perspective of what one thinks s/he knows. (Must read the Golden Bough -- interesting title and topic.) Perhaps, this was the case. The teacher was reluctant initially but this clearly was worn down. Her gut subdued by an intellect that believed it knew who was dangerous and who was not?

Steve pointed to the "profile" of the attacker. This is something that cannot be controlled. A matter of "luck." But we can prepare for the worse can't we? Or we can act accordingly when things turn bad, like in the second incident, or as in Van sensei's recounting of Kate's initial mistake and subsequent, effective response.

I dumped in the exchange with my friend because it points to "knowledge" as not being especially useful if one is not naturally inclined or nurtured to do something with that information. My friend is certainly aware of the gruesome statistics around domestic violence and what little the systems can do to help the victims. Yet, she was aghast that I was ready and willing to confront violence head on if need be.

I also did not post the fact that I know my friend's predecessor in director's job at the shelter program. The predecessor is a female ordained priest. She also practices certain buddhist meditational approaches that are among other things intended to calm the mind. This woman used to train with me, for almost two years. Priesthood and buddhist practice aside, this woman has a fierceness to her that clearly came out on the training floor. In sparring, this woman wanted not only to hit but to hit hard. She used to come after me with the glare and will of a tiger, as much if not more than many people I have encountered on the sparring floor. It's in her. The nurture of religion has not diminished it one iota.

Luck and nurture certainly play their parts but, as Van Sensei pointed out, "And we are right back to “natural selection” __ never –never forget that! Like who you are and what your upbringing was!"

The similarities and differences in the reported incidents seemed to point back to these factors.

david



[This message has been edited by david (edited 07-25-99).]


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 Post subject: Knowledge helps, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 1999 2:04 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 311
Location: Washington DC area, USA
"..they do not fare as well as the women from a lower socio-economic scale brought up in “tougher neighborhoods” as Cecil has pointed out, I believe, on a few occasions. And without possessing any martial arts skills!"

Van, I was trying not to come out and BLATANTLY say that. But that is how I feel.

I have a friend who is very strong, and has the TOOLS to take out a guy her size--or bigger--even remembers some of her training on instinct, but has been so brainwashed that fighting is bad, something done by cops and other people, that I am afraid she would get creamed in an altercation. There are lots of women like that. I don't understand it. How can you not think that your life is worth fighting for? Especially given the things that some men do to women all the time?

We cannot trust anybody else to protect us but us. Because when it gets right down to it, sometimes all you have at the time is YOU. Nobody ever seems to notice that a lot of crimes are solved AFTER THE FACT.

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Email: <A HREF="mailto:creativebrother@yahoo.com">creativebrother@yahoo.com</A>
Web Page: http://creativebrother.freehosting.net


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