I couldn't find the quote I was looking for about the ultimate victory being defeating your enemies without the use of force, but I did find some interesting ones.
Sun Tzu - "Disciplined and calm, to await the appearance of disorder and hubbub amongst the enemy:--this is the art of retaining self-possession."
My translation - Mindset. The "Uechi/Kyokushin glare". Practice in a mirror.

Sun Tzu - "Move not unless you see an advantage; use not your troops unless there is something to be gained; fight not unless the position is critical."
My translation - Choose your battles. Fight to win, and fight especially when you can win.
"No ruler should put troops into the field merely to gratify his own spleen; no general should fight a battle simply out of pique. Anger may in time change to gladness; vexation may be succeeded by content. But a kingdom that has once been destroyed can never come again into being; nor can the
dead ever be brought back to life."
My translation - Choose your battles wisely. Nobody wins in a fight.
"Thus the highest form of generalship is to balk the enemy's plans; the next best is to prevent the junction of the enemy's forces; the next in order is to attack the enemy's army in the field; and the worst policy
of all is to besiege walled cities."
"To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself. Thus the good fighter is able to secure himself against defeat, but cannot make certain of defeating the enemy."
My translation - In self defense, your concern is
your survival. Get rid of these dreams of making movie martial arts magic! Capitalize on your enemies mistakes, therein lies his defeat.
"Security against defeat implies defensive tactics; ability to defeat the enemy means taking the offensive. Standing on the defensive indicates insufficient strength; attacking, a superabundance of
strength."
My translation - Attack! Attack! Attack! Attack! Nobody ever won a fight by blocking. Attack and do not relent until your enemy is gone. Blocking will encourage your enemy to attack you further (you have "insufficent strength" of will). See your Peyton Quinn "Real Fighting".
"Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him."
My translation - True story. Friend of mine sensed that some guys in a bar were eyeing him a bit too much. When he left the bar he feigned drunkeness and as they approached with their guard completely off he dropped two of them in seconds and ran while the other was still in shock. Not sure how applicable this is in normal street self defense situations.
"Thus we may know that there are five essentials for victory:
He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.
He will win who knows how to handle both superior and inferior forces.
He will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks.
He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared.
He will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign."
My translation - Just pretty cool quote.
Anybody who can find the "Ultimate victory is winning without using your army at all" please submit it???
Osu!
Jason