What a concidence it was to read your original "anger" post, as I was just having a discussion with my training partners about that very subject this evening.
In my life, I have found that anger is the only emotion that has consistently motivated me to do or be anything! Not grief, not pride, not even vanity is a match for a man's anger in this arena!
Our discussion tonight arose out of friendly chat regarding New Year's resolutions. I mentioned how fed up I am in several areas in my life and how only my complete disgust of myself has motivated me to become more in the upcoming year.
In my martial arts practice as well, I have found that it is not my love of karate, but only my utter disappointment in my own pitiful skills that has spurred me on all these years. Each time I feel I have accomplished anything, there is always "sempai" to remind me how ridiculous my prideful feelings truly are. And then the seething anger returns, the fires are re-lit and the training begins anew.
Only in sparring have I found anger to be my enemy. Here I find that a healthy lack of caring on any level about my opponent, his well being (or my own!) allows me to operate on all cylinders! Anger here clouds my thoughts, confuses the strategy, and limits quick reaction when all one can think is, "KILL"!
In self defense, I find that I am somewhat "afraid" of my own rage, never knowing whether it is friend or foe, whether it comes to serve me or strangle me. . .Those first few moments of trembling hands, dry throat and quivering voice are so easily misinterpreted by the fragile conscious mind!!
So I will continue to let me rage motivate me personally, athletically, martially, but I ask you if one can ever truly come to welcome, encourage and embrace the rage we most definitely need to be victorious when the chips are down and the s**t has hit the poverbial fan?
Awaiting your reply,