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Wu Wei,
As it turns out, when the CB made his apology, he detailed a few aspects of his personal life that had been contributing to his demeanor. So, you are absolutely correct. Your analyses of and approach to the situation is exactly how I envision VSD being applied by a martial artist. Identify, avoid, alleviate.
I would submit however that your boss's supervisory duties are not very well performed acording to what you say. So she may be good at some parts of her job, but not all of them. As I said in an earlier post, a person in a superior position is under a greater obligation not to allow personal problems to cause an abusive situation with subordinates.
It sounds to me as though you have the situation well in hand, though.
ted
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