Why is it that people can easily turn on this darker side when confronting a loved one or friend, but when it is necessary to teach by scenario, they downplay the role? I try this with the juniors in my class and they are giggling and fidgeting while they are trying to act out the scenarios. Of course, this is not preparing them for the “real” thing, but at least it gets them pointed in the right direction. They are children after all.
Practicing to insult someone is an art as surely as practicing to pull your techniques while sparring with a beginner is. It takes a certain type of individual to detach himself or herself from the friend, co-student, and teacher mentality.
Unless the attacker can completely irritate the defender, the drill will not work. You need to experience the horror of the attack and the adrenaline rush that comes along with it.
Would I segregate any workouts? Probably not. It is not easy to predict what types of insults a person would get irate at hearing. When trying to insult someone, an attacker will usually begin with something physical in nature such as stature, a physical defect, or even the way the person is clothed. If these do not work, they will move on to issues that are more sensitive. Race, ethnicity, and sex until they know that they have found one that will push the defender to the limit of their tolerance.
Dana stated: <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
I think it would really have to be broken down step by step that way in order for there to be any level of comfort for the people involved. That way you could identify which type of insult you are most reactive to and thus need to be more prepared for. I, for example, would be completely unmoved by an insult directed at my mother. Whereas I might become enraged at an insult about my...height.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>by Panther.
Part of the problem with using the complete and necessary vulgarities needed to accomplish the goal, is that these things are very disturbing to the defender and even though the training will help the defender get beyond it, very often it gets "taken personally" and the attacker ends up being a hated person.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Why is this so? I know that when I am practicing anything, it is a drill only, no matter what is done during the practice. If someone was trying to provoke me into a fight, and was using vulgar language, it matters who this person is, because anybody can easily use the same words as anybody else would use. If the person was an immediate relative, then I would be astonished to hear some types of language because I would wonder if there was any truth or if the person really meant what they were saying. It must be stated up front that the defender should not take any insults personally when practicing verbal scenarios
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> By GEM.
Best to bring in an outsider who does his thing and sneaks off to another part of the world! Also lends an even greater sense of realist.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
This would be the best bet but, where do you find such an expert? Tony Blauer and his PDR Team are experts in this type of training but they are not always readily available, and they are strangers. It is most common for someone you associate with, like a co-worker, who will initiate a verbal confrontation. So why not another student.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> By Rory.
Which brings up a possible way for instructors to avoid the after effects. What if they announced that they were about to enact a real situation that had happened to them and emotionally choked at the time. In effect sharing a bad experience so that all, students and teachers could work through the emotions together. Hmmm. That has promise.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
This is a good way to start. Have students remember their most embarrassing verbal confrontation, and write down the words that irritate them the most. They must be trained (by hearing them again in scenario drills) to ingor these “triggers” no matter who invokes them. The person who is the aggressor will know these words, and will use them. The defender now knows that the attacker is only using words that irritate the defender because the defender has let the attacker know what they are. Very much, like a prearranged kumite, only with words.While performing scenarios like this, there must be a stop word used by the defender if the situation gets out of control. The defender could use this previously stated word if they can no longer take the verbal barrage. After the scenario is over there must be a rational discussion of the drill between the two who performed it to ease the feelings that may have built up during the drill. We should start putting together some scenarios (kihons) that we can use. Everybody has a certain trigger word or words that will set them off. We can list some of these and make it known to the attacker that these are the words that we dislike the most. Hearing them over and over again in a prearranged drill will help us to become impervious to them in real life.
[This message has been edited by LenTesta (edited December 05, 2000).]