When is it acceptable in a verbal confrontation to raise your voice or be firm with your adversary?
When a relatively normal person, who thinks you may have done them a disservice or injustice, then confronts you, will a firm and strong verbal defense be a wise choice?
How do we know when to apply the meek and mild approach or the strong and demanding?
If a larger person confronts a smaller person, a strong and demanding verbal retort by the defender could bring on a fight rather than defuse it. I would assume that the smaller person who is confident and uses words such as; “ I am not afraid of you”; “I am ready to give you a lesson;” or even “bring it on and lets see who walks away,” might not be such a good idea.
In the TC Class at the BUKA, we were discussing how an attacker, who was not hit hard by the defender, would retaliate. If the defender assumed that that if he hit the attacker hard and the attacker did not give up, he would make the attacker angrier. In addition, the doubt of the training is present because the technique did not work. So now, the defender thinks that if I hit him, but not too hard, he will be easy on me when retaliating. The attacker must think that if the defender did not strike back hard enough to hurt him, then that is all that he had to give and in his mind, the defender is weak. Therefore, he will retaliate harder and stronger thinking that he has nothing to fear.
Would this be the same situation with a verbal retort? If you are small and your attacker is big, any show of courage or hostility may make your attacker feel challenged, especially if his friends or family is with him. He now feels that he has something to prove, and will not back down. If the attacker were the same size or slightly smaller than the defender, would it make a difference?
You should be able to size up your confronter and determine what type of verbal response to give.
If you use the wrong verbal response such as threatening or demanding, it will not be able to be reversed.
Should you start with meek and mild, then change to forceful and demanding?
It may not be wise to play your trump card too soon.