Van has asked a very difficult question in asking the idea of boundries to be defined.
The best thing I can use as a way of example is the way the FCC tried to argue what could be considered pornographic.
They said the standard should be set based on local community values. So that each community could define for themselves.
Now, as long as people didn't travel too much, and as long as there were only 4 channels to choose from this was pretty easy. Everybody in a local commlunity could, for the most part, acknowlege what would or would not be considered inapropropriate by most of the folks they live with.
Cable, the internet & national digital radio stations circumvent the notion of local community.
This forum is an excellent example of how lots of people who are in no way local to each other geographically or philosphically have formed a community of sorts. This basis for our grouping ourselves together is an interest in martial arts. The difficulty comes from the fact that we do not all live in a similar community nor do we come from similar backgrounds. Add to that the fact that all of this communication is going off the written word alone without any of the typical body language, vocal intonations etc that tell people what you're "really" saying and you can see why:
people jump to conclusions about subtext
people tell a joke they think is funny and others find offensive
people say things the way they've always said them and suddenly somebody's offended
people get tired of apologizing all the time so they just decide to say whatever and if you don't like it you can go ****** an egg...
I could go on for a long time.
For me it comes down to the fact that on the internet we can't possibly all have the same community values. So hopefully we can all figure that out and not lash out at everybody for every little comment.
And, that being said, I still think there is a basic level of decency and tolerence that I choose to promote on a personal level.
So if I find someone's choice of expression to be something I consider to be way beyond what my personal community standards tolerate I'm going to speak up. Doesn't mean that anyone has to listen or even care. But it means that, for myself, I've established what I am comfortable with and what I'm not.
That is what a boundry is to me. The range of human experience within which I can function in relative emotional comfort.
If I feel that my emotional well-being is being threatened, then I would say that my boundry was being violated in some small way.
So Van, to answer your question after this long and winding post:
boundry violation is the term I use when my emotional comfort is being challenged in some way. Boundry and comfort zone could be pretty synonomous for me....
a community of one.