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 Post subject: Venting at Objects
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2001 8:52 pm 
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I was reading a thread in another forum and I began to think about my own characteristics when I begin to get frustrated.

In this current time of declining stock prices and mass layoffs of employees, Van started a topic to warn us to be aware of the potential dangers of terminated co-workers seeking revenge upon their ex co-workers.

Van said <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Quote:
One suggested way to deal with this is to not overreact to what they may say, not to ridicule them, not to destroy their dignity in any way, and to let them talk until they simmer down.


He also goes on to say <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Quote:
But when they offer violence to you, don’t make the mistake of downplaying the event, or their capabilities, and don’t get lulled into a sense of light response/only needed. Those are the people who will hasten your funeral.

Absoulutely

If the situation where an ex employee was to confront you, there would be no possible VSD that would deter his ulterior motive for being there in the first place. I would definately be leary of trying to talk some sense into this individual.

Then there is a post by Mr. Darrow where he states that a co-worker of his has fits of rage when things go wrong.

From Mr. Darrows post:
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>The disconnected rep went back into the systems room, and to all reports, yanked out the offending phone, threw it across the computer room and engaged in a several minute long fit of profanity, ranting and yelling...

After another incident of his slamming his fist into a desk so hard that it scared our office manager after a printer damaged a printout for him, I believe that I am right to be a little concerned. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I believe that these two incidents, the ex co-worker, and the current co-worker are not what Van had in mind when he devised that topic.

I think about my own frustration when I have worked very hard for hours on a spreadsheet with many rows and columns of data only to have my computer lock up before I can save it. I have slammed my fist down upon my computer table many times when this has happened.

Once, while in my office, I was on the phone discussing a very touchy subject with my wife when she hung up on me. I was so mad I threw the headset over my shoulder and it struck the picture of my daughter that I had on my desk breaking the glass.

I have been accused many times by my wife of being a psychopath when I ham having a bad day and something goes wrong. She thinks that I may someday lose it and become a killer. I do not agree. I have been worse and I am getting better but I would never hurt anybody by venting.

What does it take to set me off, The list is large: The riding lawnmower blows a head gasket (has blown 4 head gaskets in 2 years); Explorer not responding message (My computer in work locks up at least once a week); Idiots who do not use their turn signals (Oh hell, Idiots who drive cars); Rechargable razor dies half way through shaving (PS there is no cord to plug it in and I have no bladed razors) after I haven't shaved for two days; Baseball Players in the MSBL who think that they play for the MLB; People who hurt children; People who hate Americans. I could go on but I need to get to the point of this topic.

I have never vented my anger upon another living thing. Not a cat, dog, fish or even house plant has been the object of my frustration. Oh yes, a few doors and wall panels have learned their lesson to not be in my vacinity while I was venting. My daughters picture, the phone, my desk, the computer table, the wastebasket has all seen either a flying appendage thrust upon it or another object is flung its way.

A few co-workers have also seen and heard this display of wrath which I cannot control some times. Some had the courage to confront this rage and see that I was not a maniac after all. Everyone loses it once in awhile and some of us more than others.

I have got better since I began my martial arts training. Most of the time I can go to the dojo to vent on the heavy bag.

My advice to Mr. Darrow, about his co-worker, and any of my co-workers who happen to be in listening range... Do not treat this guy as though he were a mentally deranged individual capable of shooting up the entire office. People who usually vent their frustrations in this manner are mostly harmless and only cause damage to objects and themselves. Speaking to them about the situation and reasurring that it is only a minor, or sometimes a major, inconvenience is all that is necessary.

The individual that I worry about is the one who never vents their anger or frustrations no matter what happens to them, even getting laid off and fired. People such as this who let it all build up inside and do not outwardly show any anger can be a time bomb waiting to go off.

I believe that this latter individual is the person that Van is warning us about.

No VSD can help when this type of person makes up their mind to vent their anger.

You must be prepared to act.


------------------
Len

[This message has been edited by LenTesta (edited November 09, 2001).]


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 Post subject: Venting at Objects
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2001 10:20 pm 
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LenTesta-Sensei,

Good points on the co-worker issue. We have all had times when we have gotten a bit physical in venting our frustration. No argument there. Ask my wife about my problems with people who design "easy open" packages! Image

The issue I have with the co-worker goes, IMPO, a bit beyond that. It's one thing to have a blow up at the moment of an occurrence. It's another thing altogether to wait ten minutes, stalk to the other end of the building and throw a phone base station around a computer center doing the kind of damage he did.

Also, I looked at the desk he hit. There is an indentation where he hit it. Steel desk with a Formica top. Boy'd probably be good at tameshiwari! Image

That's not real acceptable behavior in a professional environment, IMPO.

However, after he got talked to by the systems administrator about his damaging company property, he seems to have cooled down a bit. I'm willing to call it an isolated incident, bad day, whatever, just so long as we don't have another incident.

Should there be a repeat, however, upper management will have to be notified and I will probably press for corrective action.

Let's hope the talk managed to stick to the wall for him.

Respectfully,

Lee Darrow, C.Ht.


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 Post subject: Venting at Objects
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2001 4:36 am 
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From my readings, and from my investigations of workplace violence cases, the main thing to remember is to swallow your pride when sensing a flare up and follow this cardinal rule:

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Quote:
.....never allow anyone under your control to strip any person, employee or otherwise, of their personal dignity.


Experience has shown that persons stripped of their dignities are potentially dangerous persons.

This is not to say that they should not be reprimanded or even fired for egregious conduct,but a person can be hired, trained, supervised, disciplined, and even fired with dignity.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Quote:
If you violate this cardinal rule, or allow someone under your control to do so,you may be contributing to unimaginable horror.


At times it all seems impossible, and you must be ready to take it all the way if you are to survive. You will sense when that time comes.

One of the problems is that most employers today will not allow firearms or guns to be brought onto the premises for defensive purposes, leaving most of us defenceless, not only in the work place but outside on the street where a malcontent will intercept you on your way to your car.

------------------
Van Canna


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 Post subject: Venting at Objects
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2001 4:44 am 
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Additionally,much like a sexual harassment policy, there should be posted explanations of the workplace violence policy as well as initial orientation and training to deal with conflict resolution, along with personal security measures.

Problem is, management is ill trained/advised
and fearful to take action lest they become personal targets.

------------------
Van Canna


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 Post subject: Venting at Objects
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2001 6:52 am 
Workplace Terror

As a consultant since the early seventies I have had the good fortune of working all over the country in places for as little as a few months to as long as 7 years, and a varied spectrum of time in between.

I have met and worked with all sorts of people; just about every race, nationality, attitude, lifestyle, etc. I have been fortunate in that I have been strongly accosted only three times during those years, and one time (in thought and not out loud) welcomed an individual to strike me. In all three cases, those individuals had severe emotional problems and were real pieces of work. One of those individuals I considered a candidate who could and possibly would initiate real violence against his colleagues, either en mass or in the parking lot, going postal is the term which comes to mind. David, I figured the needs of those individuals could be satisfied only by a physician. An awareness of those types is definitely an asset.

Through the years, witnessing other flare-ups, acts of personal sabotage, and other cut-throat endeavors, I surmised they are [most] often caused by some personal difficulty, mental duress if you wish, having its origins outside work and then brought in to the workplace. Also to be considered is in-house jealousy, envies, and a few times just personality mismatch clashes. I feel more subterfuge-type activities take place than actual physical violence.


------------------
Allen Moulton from Uechi-ryu Etcetera


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 Post subject: Venting at Objects
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2001 4:35 pm 
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Quote:
That's not real acceptable behavior in a professional environment, IMPO.


I agree, that is no way for any professional to act.

It is one thing to become enraged and to vent anger by causing some disruption to the peace. However it is quite abnormal to cause destruction upon a computer system and company property.

This guy seems to be a little over the edge when it comes to venting.

Uless he has shown any signs of venting toward his fellow co-workers, he may only be damaging his reputation...and compnay property...which is no way to advance professionaly.

Good Luck and stay out his way when he becomes enraged.


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 Post subject: Venting at Objects
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2001 4:51 pm 
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Len Testa-Sensei,

Thanks for the supporting opinion, I appreciate it.

As to staying out of his way when he's on a roll - well, that's the plan.

His office is, however, right next to mine...

Oh well, life may be strange, but it never is boring...

This thanks,

Lee Darrow, C.Ht.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LenTesta:
I agree, that is no way for any professional to act.

It is one thing to become enraged and to vent anger by causing some disruption to the peace. However it is quite abnormal to cause destruction upon a computer system and company property.

This guy seems to be a little over the edge when it comes to venting.

Uless he has shown any signs of venting toward his fellow co-workers, he may only be damaging his reputation...and compnay property...which is no way to advance professionaly.

Good Luck and stay out his way when he becomes enraged.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


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 Post subject: Venting at Objects
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2002 8:25 pm 
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If another person makes you angry or upset, you have handed control of your emotions to someone else.

Someone else is now controlling you.

Have the self respect to control yourself and not allow others to control you. Simply dont allow the buttons of your emotions to be pushed by someone else.


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 Post subject: Venting at Objects
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2002 9:16 pm 
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Quote:
Simply dont allow the buttons of your emotions to be pushed by someone else


So easily said. So hard to do.
Many people need to learn how to observe themselves as they begin to become upset. Knowing how your body signals you is a great way to learn that it's time to step out of a situation.

Dana

[This message has been edited by dmsdc (edited January 24, 2002).]


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 Post subject: Venting at Objects
PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2002 2:28 pm 
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Quote:
Many people need to learn how to observe themselves as they begin to become upset. Knowing how your body signals you is a great way to learn that it's time to step out of a situation.


Well said Dana.

The environment that we are in at the time can make us forget to look at the way we are behaving.

If I am in my car or at home, which are places that I am VERY COMFORTABLE, I often do not observe my mannerisms. I can, and often do, fly off the handle and may seem to any observers that I am a raving lunatic.

I never act this way out in public or, thank God, at my dojo.

I think the reason I dont act this way in public is that I DO OBSERVE myself when I get mad and begin to see the consequences of losing control.

I am still working on trying to control myself in the car and at home. I am making progress.

------------------
Len


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