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To muddy the waters even more; imagining myself in the same situation, with the confrontation being between strangers, I think the tension would be a lot higher than at the favorite watering hole among inebriated friends.
VSD can be a double-edged sword.
There is emotional highkacking to be considered, which brings insidious inner and outer reactions, there are facial, and voice signals that don’t always bring the desired effects on words, in fact, may make things worse.
Then there is your inner conflict you will be facing subliminally, during, but more pointedly, after the event, which may call into question your “manhood”.
This is the worst to deal with, as you can be second-guessing yourself for the rest of your life.
I have investigated many situations in the work place, as an example, where trying to defuse, and appease or even accomodate, an angry or aggressive fellow employee, and following up with a discussion of the problem with management has sent the message to all concerned that the VSD employee [you]was “scared” _ some of you may have experienced this first hand.
When that perception hits home, it can create havoc in a man’s mind that can trigger unbelievable violence either at the moment, shortly thereafter or later when the mental “gnawing” highjacks you into “proving” yourself.
This is not to vilify VSD, as any consequence flowing from it is preferable to the initial hotheaded response in many ways. But it is a skill all unto itself..Mostly emotional.
As Lenny said, it requires much scenario training and mental preparation.
Also VSD,sending the wrong signals, in response to a probing “woof” can spell disaster.
A double-edged sword.
[This message has been edited by Van Canna (edited February 21, 2002).]