Definitely I agree with Bill Glasheen in that there needs to be a sort of "pyramid of escalation."
So I am not advocating using physical discipline as anything but a last resort.
Think of it as sort of a "Strategic Nuclear Strike"
the derriere should be the target.Think of it as a last resort, a sort of "Trump card" if you will.
Meta: "I'll see your tongue sticking out behind my back with a firm, raised voice.
Child:I'll raise your firm, raised voice with a classic eye roll.
Meta: Ok, I'll see your classic eye roll with a...Ker-BLAMO!!!
TIP: Glancing horizontal flat strikes over the head of your little Hellion will be almost painless, but HUGE in the "shock and awe" Dept.
As MikeK mentioned, Often just the counting works like magic.
I'd like to mention that while I prefer NOT spanking my child 99.999% out of all the times when she is being a miniature jackass, It's that THREAT that allows me control.
And Indeed, it is about control.
In fact the law requires it.
I am not my child's "buddy", or group therapy partner.
I am her father.
It is my primary job to teach her how to survive in this world.
I give her life, love, a home, warmth, wisdom, food, clothes, opportunity, nurturing, play, and copious amounts of hugs and cuddles.
For this, I demand respect, and nothing less.
(The wife, on the other hand is a different matter altogether)
I also demand my child try her best in all things, and if she has done so, even in failure she obtains victory.
I demand she conduct herself with honor and truthfulness,
is polite and kind to others, and represents our family name when at home and in public.
I don't have time to learn how to be a psychologist.
Physiologists *may* have such a privileged luxury, but I think for most of us, between parents daily work and our kids homework, cooking, cleaning, pets and MA, sometimes I think we are lucky to see our kids at all.
~And I am still skeptical of most psychology as a whole anyway. I'm not dismissing that it has any merit, It just seems to me that what is "The current and proper method" today, is soon debunked tomorrow.
If all of American child psychologists are right, then how is it that other countries have not socially imploded by now given that most of them follow "old school" parenting techniques?,
And yet after all this,
It still rips my heart out during those rare times when I feel the situation has escalated to a spanking.
Let's fast forward a generation and watch from our rocking chairs as one of our children hits one of our grandchildren instead of modeling impulse control. How will you feel in your rocking chair? What legacy have you passed along?
Ugh... I can't argue here. This is too true a point.
But on that point, ..and I really have no answer other than to say I hope my child will understand my motivations came from pure love and an unselfish parent's desire for her to be happy, healthy and successful in life, rather than anything else.