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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 6:35 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 16, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 5986
Location: Mount Dora, Florida
Dear GEM, I notice that sometimes a person is driving a car with one set of plates, but he is really from another state. How can I tell where a driver is really from?

Signed CLUELESS

Dear CLUELESS,

There is actually a bonafide 100% way to tell:

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO.

One hand on wheel, middle finger out window: NEW YORK.

One hand on wheel, middle finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: NEW JERSEY.

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON.

One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: OHIO, but driving in CALIFORNIA.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ITALY.

One hand on 12oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE.

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: TEXAS.

Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: OKLAHOMA.

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA.

One hand on the wheel, the other on his sister: ARKANSAS.

One hand on wheel, the other in your pocket: WASHINGTON DC


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 Post subject: The forgotten state
PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:01 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 15, 2002 6:01 am
Posts: 1443
Location: Jeddore
George, did you forget that Nova Scotia is your latest state to join the union?

You know your behind a Nova Scotion when they turn into a driveway without using signal light. Everybody knows where every body lives or is going so no need that gadget :lol: [/b]

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Léo


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:03 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 16, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 5986
Location: Mount Dora, Florida
during my September visit! :)

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GEM
"Do or do not. there is no try!"


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 Post subject: You left out Sicily
PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:07 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am
Posts: 30025
Image
Quote:
Here in Sicily, the most important religion we constantly teach ourselves is the religion of how to get lots and lots of respect!


While driving, you get it like this Image

One hand on the wheel, the other holding your cat…and your cat holding the “Lupara” out the window

Image

Image
:D :D

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Van


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 Post subject: cookies from Sicily
PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:29 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am
Posts: 30025
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Then you feed your cat some of these. This is what my cat gets fed on after a "Yard kill" :lol:


Image

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