Y2K or 9-9-99 Blues

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Y2K or 9-9-99 Blues

Postby Jackie Olsen » Thu Sep 09, 1999 9:50 pm

A bit long ... but thought the forum would enjoy this. Jackie


MILLENNIUM PIE
(with apologies to Don McLean, American Pie)

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember how

Computers used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make electrons dance,
And maybe I'd be happy for a while.

But January made me shiver,
it chilled me deep down in my liver,
Bad news I'd collected...
I couldn't get connected.

I can't remember back that day
When I first knew the Y2K
But something touched me anyway,
The day computers died.

So, ...Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire
this will be the day I retire

Can you write in C plus plus ?
And do you have faith in your local bus
If the driver tells you so ?

Do you believe in Compaq's goals
Can software save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to type real slow ?

Well I thought that you were prepared
'Cause your memo said you weren't impaired
Your stationery's swell
But you can go to hell

I was a lonely teenage Unix hack
With an incantation and a modem jack
but I knew the cat had left the sack
The day computers died
I started singin'..

Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire
this will be the day I retire

Now for 10 years we've ignored the threat
And we haven't solved the problem yet
But that's not how it used to be

When the luddites read for the king and queen
with a light they filled with kerosene
And some manuals they stole from you and me

And while Bill Gates was looking pleased
Time stole his monopolies
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned

While Apple tried a color scheme
The engineers returned to steam
And we had purges of their dreams
The day computers died
We were singin'

Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire
this will be the day I retire

Intel inside in an iron smelter
The food leftover from my fallout shelter
Twinkies old and aging fast
I'd rather eat the grass
Q and A tried for a system crash
With the tester on the sidelines in a cast

Now the timeshare net was running Doom
While mainframes played a marching tune
We all tried to log in
Oh, but we never could begin

'Cause Cobol tried to take the field,
And Hollerith refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed,
The day computers died?
We started singing

Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire
this will be the day I retire

There we were all in a state
A generation- really late
With no time left to start again

So come on mouse be nimble, mouse be quick
Don't let my spreadsheet data stick
'Cause data is the devil's only friend.

As I watched him on my screen
My hands and face were drenched in steam
No angel born in hell
Could run that stupid shell

And as the ball climbed high into the night
To call the sacrificial night
I saw Dick Clark laughing with delight
the day computers died.
We were singin'

Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire
this will be the day I retire

I met a girl with a cell phone
And I asked her for a dial tone
But she just smiled and turned away

I went down to the software store
Where I'd seen computers years before
But the man there said the games there wouldn't play

And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
their interface was spoken
The Internet was broken

And the three things I connect to most
The Website, Lan and the Network host
Every single one was toast
The day computers died
They were singin'

Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire
this will be the day I retire

Copyright Scott McNulty
July 1999
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Jackie Olsen
 
Posts: 619
Joined: Fri Sep 18, 1998 6:01 am

Y2K or 9-9-99 Blues

Postby Scott Danziger » Fri Sep 10, 1999 3:02 am

TOTALLY EXCELLANT!!!!!

I absolutely loved it! I love parady and this is a pure gem!

I laughed all the way through it.
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Location: Long Island

Y2K or 9-9-99 Blues

Postby lori macleod-doyle » Fri Sep 10, 1999 3:07 am

ABSOLUTLY FABULOUS!!!!
The best Y2K parody I've seen yet. I've passed it on to several others already.
THANKS
Lori M-D
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lori macleod-doyle
 
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Y2K or 9-9-99 Blues

Postby Jackie Olsen » Mon Oct 04, 1999 2:12 pm

Here's another:

LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER
Submitted by Ester > >

An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age.
A CD was a bank account.
And if you had a 3 1/2 floppy
You hoped no one found out! > >
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file,
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail awhile!
Log on was adding wood to the fire.
Hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived,
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut - you did with a pocket knife.
Paste you did with glue.
A web was a spider's home,
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head.
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
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Joined: Fri Sep 18, 1998 6:01 am


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