Permission

[RA Miller]

This could have gone in Van's or Bill's or Rick's forum... but for some reason I think of Women's self-defense and Dana for this.

I've been giving my students permission a lot lately...

Sometimes I ask, "Why didn't you...?" reach for a weapon, use a preemptive strike, run, call for help...

And the students says, "I didn't know I could."

For the longest time, I assumed that meant the student had never considered it or didn't know how... it didn't occur to me that they thought it might be forbidden.

These are things that should never need to be said but still must, because there is power in the words.

You have permission to defend yourself.

You have permission to be rude.

You have permission to survive, no matter what it takes.

You have permission to act when the scarey man reaches for his belt. You do not need to wait until he draws the weapon or until he points it at you or until he hurts you. You have permission to act.

You have permission to beat me, even if I wear a blackbelt.

You have permission to become better than the best instructor you ever had.

You have permission to invent something better than I ever taught you, and permission to use it in my class and permission to use it to defeat me and permission to teach it to your students.


You have blanket permission to grow and live and survive and fight and run and scream and talk and play and learn and experiment. You have permission to win, and you have permission to decide what winning is.

Rory

[Mills75]

That's another awesome post by Rory it looks like sticky material to me lol. Everyone should see it and read it it's really great stuff much like Dana's if you had never hit anything post.

Jeff

[Stryke]

Great post Rory

[Dana Sheets]

Rory,

A wonderful wonderful post. There really seems to be two kinds of people. Rule followers and people who understand that rules are guidelines only and neve let rules get in the way of their self-actualization.

Every single women's self-defense seminar I have attended has included a variation on the speech of "It's OK to not be nice to someone who is not being nice to you." This speech is followed closely on the heels by the second big speech "Nice people who hurt bad people to stay safe did not do a bad thing."

This is closely related to the thread I recently bumped back up to the top that is the reprint of an article describing a woman's experience in rape. "...if violence knocks and politeness answers?"
http://forums.uechi-ryu.com/viewtopic.php?t=12848

Somehow some people get socialized to be (or by nature are) more prone to rollover and play dead than others.

I'd say I was one of those people for a long time. I didn't want to rock the boat. I'd let people say things to me and stay in the room where today I'd either have a thoughtful retort or simply "vote with my feet" and not be around that person any longer. Is it developmental? Is this something we get better at as we get older or is it something we do worse? Babies are very clear to express when they're unhappy, toddlers tell you in no uncertain terms when they don't like what's happening...and then...what happens?

[Rick Wilson]

[hoshin]

"when i was young it seemed that life was so wonderfull.......
then they sent me away taught me how to be logical... oh resposible, practical,,,respectable a vegitable"

(THE LOGICAL SONG...by SUPERTRAMP)

Hoshin
~~~~