One of my current favorite magazines is "Scientific Amercian Mind" which talks about a whole range of things related to cognition and thought.
http://www.sciammind.com/
In a previous issue they talked about lying, about how everybody does it, about how good and useful it is in our society. That without lying society might even fall apart.
Until the next issue comes out - you can read the article online here:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articl ... sc=I100478
Emphasis mine.As the great American observer Mark Twain wrote more than a century ago: "Everybody lies ... every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception." Deceit is fundamental to the human condition.
Research supports Twain's conviction. One good example was a study conducted in 2002 by psychologist Robert S. Feldman of the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Feldman secretly videotaped students who were asked to talk with a stranger. He later had the students analyze their tapes and tally the number of lies they had told. A whopping 60 percent admitted to lying at least once during 10 minutes of conversation, and the group averaged 2.9 untruths in that time period. The transgressions ranged from intentional exaggeration to flat-out fibs. Interestingly, men and women lied with equal frequency; however, Feldman found that women were more likely to lie to make the stranger feel good, whereas men lied most often to make themselves look better.
Why the difference? If you did this study around the world would you have the same results? A women always other-focused, are we socialized to always put the needs of anyone else before our own or is it simple nature?
Inside the dojo this might mean a woman not asking a question because she doesn't want to hold up the class. So she is feigning competence for the perceived benefit of others over her own needs.
Outside the dojo this might mean a woman not seeking healthcare because she believes the money to be better spent on something else for someone else. She is feigning health for the perceived benefit of others over her own needs.
Certinally deception can be a ruse for personal gain as well. But to me the study is very telling in the way women approach social interactions.
And look at the breakdown in communication - the man is telling lies about himself to look good and the woman is telling lies about herself to make him feel better. Upon this firm foundation we start our courtship rituals.
And folks wonder about the divorce rate?The nice thing about karate class is that after you ask the class if they've got it and if they have any questions - you can then ask them to train it. So you can see whether or not folks are doing it.
Some folks keep quiet in the dojo because they don't have the self-esteem to speak up - they don't want to "bother" the instructor, others fear looking incompetent in front of their peers (which is basically the same as a lack of self-esteem).
