Romantic or Selfish?

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Romantic or Selfish?

Postby chef » Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:52 pm

Is a person a romantic or selfish to expect special "spoiling" in the way of gifts, be it cards, flowers, chocolates, and thoughtful gifts on birthdays, Christmas, Valentines Day, etc.?

Is that erroneous to expect such things?

Is that wrong thinking? Is it wrong to get upset when that doesn't happen?

Is that just the difference between Mars vs. Venus or the difference in 'love languages'?


Is that something that a person who normally doesn't do such things, can learn?

What are you thoughts on that subject?

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Postby Dana Sheets » Mon Feb 26, 2007 7:19 pm

My first instinct is to say that for some people their actions and their spoken words are the way they show affection more than through material things.

Two classic, highly stereotypical examples are
The man who works all day to clean, wax, and detail his wife's car - only to have her think that he wasted the day on something that didn't matter when his intention was to show how much she means to him by taking good care of her car.

The woman who spends two hours picking out just the right card for her husband only to have him read it once, spend less that five seconds looking it, and toss it off to the side. Yet he goes crazy over a ballcap for his favorite sports team she spent less than five minutes deciding over.

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In my own life - my grandmother used to proudly say that she never had to ask for a knife to be sharpened in her kitchen. Her husband knew that sharp knives made her days in the kitchen easier and showed her he loved her by doing so.

My grandmother - in contrast, would iron my grandfather's socks - wanting him to look his very best for work. Finally, one day he told her that nobody ever saw his socks at work - so he woud like her to save the extra effort.

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And the second thing that comes to mind is that our loved ones, no matter how much time they spend with us - aren't mind readers and sometimes don't value the same things. So if there is something your lover can do that makes you feel very special - be sure to let them in on the secret.

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And the last thing that comes to mind is that even the most well-intentioned people goober it somtimes. And sometimes that's because they're being pulled by another aspect in their life. Which isn't an excuse - but an observation.
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Postby Van Canna » Mon Feb 26, 2007 7:54 pm

Van
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Postby dejsis » Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:22 pm

She was voted the classiest movie star. Number two was Cary Grant. Nice to see real good taste doesn't go out of fashion :D
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Postby Van Canna » Wed Feb 28, 2007 10:38 pm

Image

A touch of class from yester-year_
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Postby Van Canna » Wed Feb 28, 2007 10:44 pm

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George Peppard was also very classy.

A shame he died of pneumonia at only 66_ :(
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Postby dejsis » Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:20 pm

I didn't know that.

I will always remember him as Hannibal from the A-Team :lol:
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Postby Van Canna » Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:35 pm

Yes, see this link_

http://www.ateamshrine.co.uk/hannibal.php

George Peppard led a troubled life, he was an alcoholic for almost 30 years (he started drinking after his father died in 1951 and finally quit in 1978 and in many ways he had a self-destuctive personality: the many wives, the drinking, the smoking).

Unfortunately this all caught up with him in later life. He never really got the big part that he truly deserved - he almost made it in Breakfast in Tiffany's but he played second fiddle to Audrey Hepburn's 'Holly Go Likely'.

George (a lifetime smoker) died of pneumonia, a result of his weakness from chemotherapy sessions to treat cancer.
George Peppard's grave in his hometown of Detroit:


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