I had a revelation yesterday evening, and I'm wondering how many others do or have faced this or a similar issue.
About 1/3 of the way through class last night, I suddenly realized that I had stopped watching my sensei and our top ranked student, because I was so focused on doing things my way...In other words, I had stopped learning and was trying to show how much I'd learned or was simply too self absorbed
It was then I realized that this wasn't the first time I'd probably done this, and I really needed to SNAP OUT OF IT! Personal practice time is when I should be going at my speed and trying different things, but during class time, I should be focused on the count offs so I stay with the class, the technique of my teacher and higher ranked students, and on watching/doing/LEARNING. I was focusing on what I was doing, but it was in a very....blind way. I'm not sure if that makes sense. I was blind to what others around me were doing so I could try and learn something more...it was almost as if I was so confident I "had this down"....
So, I refocused, and opened up my eyes and mind...and near the end of class I caught myself doing the same thing, all over again. (beats head against wall).
So, how often have you found your ego...in big or small ways...being one of your toughest opponents as you learn and train?