First, understand you are not being attacked, but disagreed with...there is
Second, in working with the courts and abused, I am sure you are aware of the necessity to be sensitive...at least to some degree...to your audience. I also have to believe you know better than some of what you are saying, and it is your frustration speaking more than your brain. You are smarter than this, so please think carefully before you post on this issue. Your insight is valuable, but we need insight, not just anger.
Keep in mind this is a women's forum...so, not only are you talking to women, who might just..for some reason
...resent the term "ungrateful women" simply because it's demeaning and derogatory.
Also keep in mind that some of the people you are speaking to HAVE been abused....and might further resent your label
...even while understanding (intellectually) where some of it is coming from. If one didn't make allowances for anger and frustration, it would be easy to assume that you truly don't understand the people you are working with or haven't been properly trained to help them, and that would be bad.
I appreciate your viewpoint, but have you truly been reading the responses of others here? As an agent of the court, do they not provide some of the same training materials we have here to understand why so many of the people you work with keep falling back into the cycle of abuse. It might help your frustration and your clients to pay attention to some of what has been posted here, so you can get a better idea of the "why" and not just that "it keeps happening".
What else is there besides the courts?
Like all people who return to negative situations..which can be anything from domestic abuse to bad jobs....it's often because they feel they have no other options. Whether that "no options" feeling is because they lack self esteem, lack functional skills, lack access to resources, lack self determination and drive or whatever....that helpless "no options" feeling can be a powerful demotivator.
So you don't think you are supposed to be all nurturing like a social worker..fine...that's likely not in your job description, but you can get them in touch with those who do that for a living. There are support groups all over that are created for this..profit and non profit, public and private.
Your comments, to me, are based on the assumption that these women are stupid and worthless. I certainly hope that is not your intention. They are scared, and they may be quite ignorant...that does not mean they are hopeless or worthless. It also doesn't mean they aren't grateful for the assistance. It simply means they need options that seem possible to them.
yeah...suxs...and no...it's not always going to work. Some folks are simply so scared or hopeless that it would take significant one on one support to help them move past thier blocks. AND...there are some that have some weird co-dependent dynamic going on that has to reach a point where they find they have to change....sorta like alcholholics, I would guess.
So...if you are seeing these people as ungrateful and not worth your time...then perhaps you need to step back and moment and consider what that means to you and to the clients you serve.
For this person who has been abused, I was very grateful to those who helped me while I got back to myself. I hope I remembered to thank them all.