"Statistics continually show that a large percentage of women who fight back under an attack get out of the situation relatively unscathed. Why then have most women heard that fighting back will just make the assailant angry - they should submit as it is a power struggle and let it get over with - I've read this in numerous articles - (though the tide is changing slowly) and have encountered this belief in women I have met from various walks of life. It seems that the socialization process of women in this country is one of submission and subjugation to violent attack, thus denying her the right to her own self-preservation!"
I will testify to that at the end of this reply!!
This victim thing must go on in a segment of society that I am not privy to. Perhaps it's a generational thing (I'm 28.)
A significant number of the women I know ARE NOT VICTIMS, and will kick your "hindparts" (as the old folks say) if you mess with them. Forgive me for stereotyping, but I think the victim-like/demure/little-miss-lady socialization goes on in the middle class and upward (BY SOCIETY'S DEFINITION, NOT MINE, IN TERMS OF MONEY AND/OR EDUCATION) circles, regardless of skin color. Most women I've met these days in the office and boardroom, are confident about defending themselves. This, plus having a few female relatives who are the center of family humor for things they've done to former boyfriends who thought they could abuse them (one of my favorite cousins, as a teenager, threw an ex-boyfriend under a school bus because he thought he could get away with hitting her. BAAAD DECISION. Should've checked with me first, I'd have told him differently) has given me a healthy respect for women. I will admit that most of them still probably don't feel confident in their PHYSICAL STRENGTH when fighting a man, which is why a lot of them say they'd go for the groin, scratch, or use the nearest available object.
Testimony to women fighting back:
I was at a cultural festival (ethnic group will be left out to avoid stereotyping) where two guys jumped a guy and his girlfriend. A crowd gathered around to watch, so I couldn't see the fight, but I did hear a lot of smacking sounds, cursing and yelling. When the cops came to break up the fight, the guy fighting the girlfriend was staggering , COVERED WITH SCRATCHMARKS and in a tattered shirt. The other attacker and the boyfriend were winded with a few bruises and slightly busted face parts. The girlfriend, still wearing her pocketbook, had not a hair out of place nor a fingernail broken. She helped her boyfriend over to an ambulance.
I really wish that people would stop seeing themselves as victims, learn that they do not have to tolerate abuse, and do so!!
[This message has been edited by Cecil (edited 10-01-98).]