As far as the mating dance, I've done best when practicing "no-style", or a sort of mushin, or, to be honest, when I really didn't care one way or the other. Now throw in the really care, really want her stuff, and I usually choked. My best performances in real fights have been when I went into a no-mind mode, letting things flow together, and acting and reacting in the Now. My butt-whippin's always came when I got too upset and lost focus!!
I learned after a while to just talk: it worked on those types who really were close to being compatible with me. I also got let in on a secret; the woman knows if she wants you or not already, my job is to make her feel comfortable and she will take it from there, one way or the other, no sweat. I've learned to make women feel comfortable by just listening and talking. I also learned to take her to a secure environment where SHE FEELS COMFORTABLE AND SAFE, like a nice restaurant, a happening dance club, or go back to her place, or go to a home or apartment of a mutual friend or out somewhere else where SHE FELT NO PRESSURE. Use no force. Listen. Sensitivity (NOT IN THE EFFEMINATE SENSE). If she wants you, great, if not, fine. Oh well. Being in reasonable physical condition helps too!! That's how I ended up with my wife and every lady I had up until I got married, after I learned this "secret technique" from a guy who is a notorious lady killer. . Only I chose to stay on the good side of the force!
I also think that people put too much emphasis on the dance. There are people who can talk a good game, be real impressive, etc., but really are dolts, lousy lovers in and/or out of bed, have no real endurance for life's problems, and really are a waste of time. Just like there are martial artists with really flowery techniques, a lot of awards or inflated rank who really can't fight worth a damn in a real fight, who can't control their emotions in a real fight, who are not in reasonable physical condition and who can't go the distance.
I guess love and war are a lot alike.