Humbling moments

A place to share ideas, concerns, questions, and thoughts about women and the martial arts.

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natalie lane
Posts: 61
Joined: Thu Sep 17, 1998 6:01 am
Location: dartmouth, ns canada

Humbling moments

Post by natalie lane »

Lori-San,

I was inspired by your post in Van Sensei's forum, I think it was paper tigers, when you discussed your experience with the "big chi stick".

I had a similar experience when my preconceptions were shaken, and thought it might make a good thread, as I'm certain everyone has had these "humbling moments" when they picked themselves off the floor.

A few years ago I visited Ron Fagan Sensei, and although I had no expectations of winning any sparring match with him, I certainly did not expect to be so badly defeated.

Even though I had never met him before, I knew that they practiced "point" fighting, and I figured I would be okay with my full contact style. No problem, I could take a hit, but when I tried to hit back, he was already out of range.

I quickly changed my belief that point fighting was no contact after I needed to catch my breath after a few hits to my well conditioned midsection. And dragging myself to my feet after a sweep that was executed with such finesse that I was positive I had slipped on the mat(I'm glad we were on a mat). I kept going, hoping that he would call it quits and let other people take the mat, but after what seemed like hours, I had to say enough.

Of course after that experience, I went back the next week, and every day for months after that. I obviously had much to learn. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em...
Lori
Posts: 865
Joined: Thu Sep 17, 1998 6:01 am

Humbling moments

Post by Lori »

Hi Natalie,

So good to see you posting here! Too bad your topic didn't elicit more responses - but who would really want to make their own "humbling moments" public anyway! Image

Thank you for sharing your experience - it speaks to me of the kind of spirit that it takes to "make it" in the martial arts. As we have explored at times on this forum - many are the reasons why women come to the martial arts in the first place, and these can be the same reasons why they end up leaving. IMO it takes an extra bit of "stuff" for a female to hang in there and continue study - in the face of the many differences and obstacles we face as women. Not that it needs to be that big a deal, but in a male dominated sport - we cannot deny that these issues exist. In your story, you exemplify what it takes with the statement "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" - and that is much of what drove me to continue many times in the face of superior body strength, training, size, you name it. The "fighting spirit" is something that I believe is more natural to a man than a woman - and to continue to throw yourself into a situation that is frustrating, like my experience with the "chi guy" and yours with the "no contact" sparring - in order to learn and better oneself - is indicative of someone who will be in training for the long haul. Too many women leave after a situation like that. I've seen it too many times - and the opinions they express after encountering that kind of defeat are the SAME ones I've felt time and again - yet something kept me coming back and I only wish I could figure out what that was - so that I could express it and share it with those same women who leave before realizing that they DO have what it takes - they just have to preservere.

If a FEMALE practitioner has a hard time defining what "it" is that keeps her coming back in spite of those "humbling moments" - how can we expect male seniors and instructors to understand?

Just asking.

---------
Lori
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RickLiebespach
Posts: 157
Joined: Mon Feb 15, 1999 6:01 am
Location: Valrico, Florida, USA

Humbling moments

Post by RickLiebespach »

Hi Natalie,

Thank you for your post! Your comments about your sparring experiences made me think about where I am in that regard.

Where I study we always seemed to spar point style...but lately we've had some guys join who have a lot of background with boxing (Golden Gloves) and fighting...now it seems that most of our sparring is a hybrid. We're not going full contact, but we don't stop after the first point either (usually).

Six weeks ago I found myself going against the biggest bruiser in our school (nickname - Tank) He's kinda like an ox or a raging bull (especially after he gets tagged :-) )....
Well I survived and felt ok about it.
The next week I wasn't as mobile and got creamed! In fact it still hurts.

I'd "previously" wondered if we shouldn't try full contact or "continous" for the realism it could accustom you to...
Now, after reading you post, I realize that "whatever", done "right" ;-) is more important...and your description gives me an example to think about and try.

Thank you for what to me are
words of encouragement.

Rick Liebespach
Raffi Derderian
Posts: 635
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 1998 6:01 am
Location: Johnston, RI
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Humbling moments

Post by Raffi Derderian »

Natalie,
Glad to see you are experiencing point fighting at its best. But I guarentee you there are many reading this that are still saying-"point fighting..HA!!". So many don't want to see it as a way to train certain skills. To train exclusively in points would be wrong as it would be to train only in full contact. You need variety in your methods to develop a full repitoire of attributes. Good for you to openly admit you took a beating and are going back for more. Many people (macho men mostly) would leave and never go back. Oh, and they would probably leave out the fact they got their heads handed to them. I've seen lots of that over the years. Your post has earned you my respect.
Raffi
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