Women rather friends than fight (repost)

[Scott Danziger]

Cecil
Member posted May 26, 2000 11:50 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is this true? What implications does this have for martial training if it is true.
Stressed Women Would Rather Make Friends Than Fight

By Deena Beasley LOS ANGELES, May 19 (Reuters) - Stressed-out women are likely to seek social contact, rather than indulge in the "fight-or-flight" behavior that has long been considered the principal way both sexes cope with stress, researchers said in a report released on Friday. "We have been myopic about how we think about stress--focusing heavily on fight-or-flight and failing to recognize coping methods that center on the social group's protective effect against stress," said Shelley Taylor, the lead investigator of the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) study.

Fight-or-flight responses triggered by stress--ranging from aggression to withdrawal, depending on the perceived threat--have been tied to ailments ranging from hypertension to alcoholism.

After compiling data from thousands of biological and behavioral studies of humans and animals, UCLA researchers identified a broad pattern, they termed "tend and befriend," that women use to cope with stress. The study will be published in an upcoming issue of the American Psychological Association's journal. This pattern shows that females of many species, including humans, respond to stressful conditions by protecting and nurturing their young, and by seeking social contact and support from others--especially other females, Taylor said.

Befriending methods range from talking on the phone with relatives or friends, to such simple social contacts as asking for directions when lost, the study found. Just as the fight-or-flight response is based on biological changes that occur in response to stress, the UCLA researchers theorized that the tend-and-befriend pattern may have a biological basis in the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is generated, like adrenaline, by the bodies of both genders when faced with stress, but it is enhanced by the female hormone estrogen and appears to be inhibited by male hormones, Taylor said. "Animals and people with high levels of oxytocin are calmer, more relaxed, more social and less anxious.

In several animal species, oxytocin leads to maternal behavior and to affiliation," the researcher said. The different ways that men and women respond to stress may also help researchers understand why men are more vulnerable to the adverse health effects of stress. "Because the tend-and-befriend regulatory system may, in some ways, protect women against stress, this biobehavioral pattern may provide insights into why women live an average of seven and a half years longer than men," Taylor said.

In one study, when the typical father came home after a stressful day at work, he responded to stress by wanting to be left alone, enjoying peace and quiet away from the stress of the office. When office-related stress was particularly acute, a typical response would be to react harshly or create conflict with his wife or children, the UCLA report said.

When the typical mother in the same study came home from work bearing stress, she was more likely to cope with her bad day by focusing her attention on nurturing her children. Until five years ago, when the federal government mandated broad representation of both men and women in agency-funded medical research grants, most studies on stress focused on males.

"Women were largely excluded in stress research because many researchers believed that monthly fluctuations in hormones created stress responses that varied too widely to be considered statistically valid," Taylor said. "We need to identify a broader range of what people do to respond to stress," she added.

------------------
Email: creativebrother@yahoo.com
Web Page: http://creativebrother.freehosting.net


[This message has been edited by gmattson (edited May 27, 2000).]

IP: Logged

Scott Danziger
Administrator posted May 28, 2000 09:16 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there's my wife. Who, when stressed, wants to start a fight with me.

IP: Logged

student
Member posted May 28, 2000 09:50 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A few days ago NPR's Morning Edition broadcast an article about 2 women Tae Kwon Do competittors who were fastr freinds for years, seeking a spot on the U S Olympic team.
It came down to their having to face each other. Competitor B's knee had been injured in a previous match but she insisted on going forward.

Knowing how much this meant to B, knowing that B stood a significant chance of becoming really hurt in this match, Competitor A chose to withdraw. B should be healed by the time of the Sydney games. THe implications in the article were that B was the better of the two - but was she? Do we know? No.

How many men would have behaved in this fashion? How many men in A's place would not have looked at it as a God-given opportunity to advance; how many would have decided to let B make his own decision and take his own risks?

I suspect this is an example of a fundamental difference in the way most men and most women - even competitive women - think.


Comments?

student

[This message has been edited by student (edited May 28, 2000).]

IP: Logged

Van Canna
Moderator posted May 28, 2000 10:26 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I suspect this is an example of a fundamental difference in the way most men and most women - even competitive women - think.
Fundamental differences are and will always be that women have more heart and more imagination, they do not usually transgress the bounds of decorum, they can be extremely self denying as opposed to self indulgent, and Voltaire sums it up when he wrote that all the reasonings of men are not worth one sentiment of women!


------------------
Van Canna

IP: Logged

Cecil
Member posted May 28, 2000 10:59 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scott, you stole my line!
I still remain confused on this issue. While I have seen instances to confirm, I have also seen situations where women have not backed down and went on the offensive.

I'm sure some of it is socialization, some of it is nature.

Cecil

[LenTesta]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote

How many men would have behaved in this fashion?

I know one man who acted this way!

Some time ago, (I was not there, I was told)
a very good student of a very good Sensei met each other in the ring, for a final match in a tournament. The Sensei had won many previous tournmaments.

The Sensei bowed out and gave the match to his student. The student won about 60 tournament titles in his career.

The Sensei...Arthur Rabesa

The student...Robert Bethoney

[Lori]

Couldn't post this before - some problem still exists replying to older threads...
------------------------------
I knew I saw this referenced somewhere before! I was not on the forums much at all during May and this slipped past me. Thanks Cecil for posting this originally - you always have thought provoking questions - I really appreciate your input here. (And enjoyed reading your stories linked on the creative forum!)

Has anyone seen the study in the APA journal?

Scott: That's because we always hurt the ones we love! Men and women I think...

Student: And then you have the beauty pagent contestants who sabotage dresses, and other horror stories...

Van-sensei: Beautiful quote and perfect timing as usual!

Cecil-san: Interesting question - if this study shows a definite difference in the composition of the "chemical cocktail" as related to gender - then why DO some women act as the study says men would be more likely to? How much is nature and how much is nurture?

Ha! The never ending dilemma of life.

[Scott Danziger]

Maybe... but believe me, she can be a major bitch just for the sake of bring one. All it does it bring out the worst in me then I get all stressed from it.

[Lori]

Aha! Emotional hijack! Another event that knows no gender! I can relate to your reaction - AND to your wife! I think we have a b**** button somewhere that gets pressed and rationality flies out the window until the pressure lets up... (watch it JD! I know you are reading this and have a wonderful come-back in the making!)

Hey - truth be told - we all have those "buttons" - women have just perfected the response to inflict a terrorist type control when necessary!

[Scott Danziger]

It figures... And it works so well cause I cringe just knowing what's to come sometimes. But I resist the control factor.

Just change the word "life" to "wife" in this old ditty:

This life is a test
It is only a test
Had this been an actual life
you would have been told where to go
and what to do.

And I must add to that (with substitution) "constantly!"




[This message has been edited by Scott Danziger (edited August 08, 2000).]