Sent to me by a friend... thought it might generate some chuckles here like it did with my better 1/3... (Ummm, I'm at least twice her size. )
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TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE ..... FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH . .
Learn to work the toilet seat. Don't allow it to outsmart you, If it's up, put it down.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as fishing, football or monster trucks.
Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!
No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
Check your own oil.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, not a colour.
If it itches, it will be scratched.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
What the hell is a doily?
To women erverywhere
Moderator: Available
To women erverywhere
I'm sure everyone is suprised to see my name posted..But I have to say...thats funny. Too bad it will never take. Its too easy.
OINK OINK
P.S. Panther and I are NOT the same person
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"Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos. Before a Great person can begin something brilliant, they must look foolish to the crowd."--I Ching
[This message has been edited by DavidT (edited November 03, 2000).]
OINK OINK
P.S. Panther and I are NOT the same person
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"Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos. Before a Great person can begin something brilliant, they must look foolish to the crowd."--I Ching
[This message has been edited by DavidT (edited November 03, 2000).]
To women erverywhere
Well, I begin to see why there may not be a lot of women reading this forum. Ye gods and little godlets!
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Walk in the Light, Hugh
hughf_us@yahoo.com
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Walk in the Light, Hugh
hughf_us@yahoo.com
To women erverywhere
DavidT-san: I'll bet you are! And what's with this Oink thing? I thought you gave up on seeking the transmigration of your soul to a pig and were headed to Guam?
Panther-san: Thanks for the (?)humor! (Just kidding - good post!)
No doubt about your comment Hugh-san! Truth be told... sometimes I think this is a forum for men ABOUT female martial artists - or their opinions of them - or something... I have no idea why more women don't post.
I am but a lonely voice in the wilderness...
So about this post...
Well - comedy runs an interesting parallel with tragedy - and the best comics are often the ones with the saddest lives - and often that which we laugh at is something that makes us uncomfortable from a sharp jab of truth hidden under the cloak of chauvanism/feminism/sexism/whateverism that we try to be PC about - (by the way - to hell with PC on this forum in case I haven't made it clear lately).
Anyway - laugh - it may seem funny because you can see some truth in it...
But who am I to say? I'm not a guy - vive la difference!
-Lori
Panther-san: Thanks for the (?)humor! (Just kidding - good post!)
No doubt about your comment Hugh-san! Truth be told... sometimes I think this is a forum for men ABOUT female martial artists - or their opinions of them - or something... I have no idea why more women don't post.
I am but a lonely voice in the wilderness...
So about this post...
Well - comedy runs an interesting parallel with tragedy - and the best comics are often the ones with the saddest lives - and often that which we laugh at is something that makes us uncomfortable from a sharp jab of truth hidden under the cloak of chauvanism/feminism/sexism/whateverism that we try to be PC about - (by the way - to hell with PC on this forum in case I haven't made it clear lately).
Anyway - laugh - it may seem funny because you can see some truth in it...
But who am I to say? I'm not a guy - vive la difference!
-Lori
To women erverywhere
Cyber stalking. That must be what it is.
Ok, guys. Let's get out of here. Women want their forum back...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Ok, guys. Let's get out of here. Women want their forum back...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
You are not the man-slaying wolfteress in the stories Van wrote on this forum several months ago, are you Lori?I am but a lonely voice in the wilderness...
To women erverywhere
"Women want their forum back"???
What women? If they're reading - they're not posting!
Even I'm not that predictable here...
Perhaps when I'm gone I'm running with the wolves... I wrote a post about that myself once - remember that one Allen-san?
Never know what's lurking in the shadows...
What women? If they're reading - they're not posting!
Even I'm not that predictable here...
Perhaps when I'm gone I'm running with the wolves... I wrote a post about that myself once - remember that one Allen-san?
Never know what's lurking in the shadows...
To women erverywhere
So many posts on these forums, Lori. Please put a link to it.
I wonder if fighting women stay away because man has crashed the party and/or they fear male put-downs? Maybe youse girls would appreciate a "woman's only" section better.
I wonder if fighting women stay away because man has crashed the party and/or they fear male put-downs? Maybe youse girls would appreciate a "woman's only" section better.
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To women erverywhere
<< I wonder if fighting women stay away because man has crashed the party and/or they fear male put-downs? Maybe youse girls would appreciate a "woman's only" section better. >>
I doubt it, I ran a bulletin board for nearly 10 years, and currently run a message forum, In all of that time it has been a hard fact that most women do not and will not interact on a computer as men do. I have never figured it out, and had hoped that the internet would have changed that by now, but it hasn't had much luck.
Now that's a generalization, but figure 1 woman for every 1000 men posting??
I doubt it, I ran a bulletin board for nearly 10 years, and currently run a message forum, In all of that time it has been a hard fact that most women do not and will not interact on a computer as men do. I have never figured it out, and had hoped that the internet would have changed that by now, but it hasn't had much luck.
Now that's a generalization, but figure 1 woman for every 1000 men posting??
To women erverywhere
Thanks Scott.
Interesting, Scott; thanks for the revelations.
Us guys are [often] quieter while women seem to like to talk all the time, whereas it is just the opposite on the forums.
However, Lori's forum has had healthy women participation in the past but maybe it was only a passing thing. Maybe women are more interested in studying about what we discuss for fighting rather than discuss what they do for fighting?
Interesting, Scott; thanks for the revelations.
Us guys are [often] quieter while women seem to like to talk all the time, whereas it is just the opposite on the forums.
However, Lori's forum has had healthy women participation in the past but maybe it was only a passing thing. Maybe women are more interested in studying about what we discuss for fighting rather than discuss what they do for fighting?