Ego's within !

GSantaniello · Post by **GSantaniello** » Wed Jan 09, 2002 4:42 am

Being human, we all have ego's. Some are very inflated and some deflated. Some appear to almost be none exsisting. However, we all have them and it is important that one feels good about who and what they are.

So many things go into molding ones ego. Life's experiences, success and failures, talent's and short comings etc. etc.

As some of us look deeper into our martial arts practices we look beyond the physical abilities into the development of the "self" that is Zen. Many do speak well of it and some of us try to practice it. However, as those of us who have studied it realize, it is most difficult to live by it in our western culture.

Some will even laugh at it, which shows their lack of understanding.

It is unfortunate yet true that some advanced martial artist are so self serving in their need for recognition and importance that even as instructors they feel a need to put down others for their ways that may differ.

So are we (as martial artist) any better than the rest of people ? I think not although as higher ranks we are "expected" to be internally better, i have wittnessed comments and statements by some that had me question their inner devolpment.

We all need to set the example for students and/or other instructors. Possibly some may think before making sarcastic commens against others.

We all are entittled to our opinions, and sharing them is one thing, however, we all should be careful how and what we say to others.

I must share that i have been dissapointed in some whom i had believed to be more "open minded" than that of what i have seen and heard.

This is not directed at any one individual. However, there have been several different occassions that i have wittnessed what i believed to have been inapropriate comments and remarks by some of sufficient rank that should know better.

How dare i post such a topic ? Some may feel that way, however it does not mean it lacks in content.

Possibly others have wittnessed at times such behavior by others ? Of course no individuals and/or persons is encouraged to be pointed towards. Only the "generalization" of the fact that high ranked black belts should also work on "self development" as well as physical effectiveness.

A delicate subject for sure as i would not expect many to comment on it.

Respectfully,

------------------

Gary S.

ecalavia · Post by **ecalavia** » Wed Jan 09, 2002 8:03 am

Oh come now. Things are never so bad after a nice nap. Let me get a Kleenex, oh look... I found a pice of candy......

Stryke · Post by **Stryke** » Wed Jan 09, 2002 8:55 am

This is a simple one , where all human and we all screw up , some great martial artists are big ego freaks , some high ranking dan grades are a****les , but some are nice decent people who give up a lot to help people learn .

Some people arent on a spiritual journey , some aren`t , some overcompensate buy into politics , enjoy there PERCEIVED authority to much .

Some people also take the martial arts to seriously and expect to much guru swaminess from normal everyday human beings ....

basically martial arts aint no different from everyhing else , sure you can learn from it , grow from it , but not a lot more than anything else , if you enjoy it great , use this as your tool .

At the end of the day all sorts of people do martial arts , and a few not so nice ones actually excell at it , just like everything else .

hope that ruffled a few feather

...

A note to remember , people you encounter in martial arts as in everyhing else can only affect you as much as you let them , If its having a negative or emotional effect on you to your detrement, id ask you to take a step back and see if your ego`s involved .

just my view

Stryke

Allen M. · Post by **Allen M.** » Wed Jan 09, 2002 9:49 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote

So are we (as martial artist) any better than the rest of people ? I think not although as higher ranks we are "expected" to be internally better, i have wittnessed comments and statements by some that had me question their inner devolpment.

What’s this?

Your post is exceptionally vague and reads as if you have a bone to pick with one or more individuals, but just don’t know how to get started. Somehow I read your writing that you are putting a martial artist of a higher rank on some sort of pedestal. They do not need be put on a pedestal. Actually, though, Some martial artists have nothing else in life going for them for whatever reason: maybe no family, no [other] career, no money, no other activity in life maybe because martial arts is their life, etc. C’mon cut them some slack.

What is a “we” of higher rank? What does that represent to you, Gary? What should a “higher rank” represent.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote

It is unfortunate yet true that some advanced martial artist are so self serving in their need for recognition and importance that even as instructors they feel a need to put down others for their ways that may differ.

Martial artists are no different from any other kinds of people. Matter of fact, Gary, they are other kinds of people. I have run across a few of what you speak about but they are so far and few between that they are easy to avoid. You, my good friend, are an exceptionally talented martial artist who has been with George for many years, Gary, and
I hope no one is putting you down. Just avoid them.

------------------
Allen Moulton from Uechi-ryu Etcetera

GSantaniello · Post by **GSantaniello** » Wed Jan 09, 2002 10:47 am

Stryke,

Very well stated ! I agree with you completely.

Allen,

Once again you make some very valid comments. Although, there are many whose "ability" i respect without question, it does not mean that "ego's" are not in overkill.

Yes, i agree that we are all "just human" and at times that is hard enough. I do as you suggest "avoid" such people as you suggest are far and few from my experience also.

"What should a higher rank represent to you?"

Good question Al, I know several instructors/friends whom are well developed in abilty, knowledge and yes, spiritual development. I understand that not all are on the "path to enlightment".

Thank you for your comments.

david · Post by **david** » Wed Jan 09, 2002 11:46 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>

The partial becomes complete;

The crooked becomes straight;

The empty becomes full;

The worn out becomes new;

He whose desires are few fulfills them; he whose desires are many goes astray;

Therefore the sage holds in his embrace the one thing and manifests it to all the world.

He is free from self-display, and therefore he shines;

He is free from self-assertion, and therefore he distinguished;

He is free from self-boasting, and therefore his merit is acknowledged;

He is free from self-complacency, and therfore he acquires superiority.

Because he is thus free from striving, therefore no one in the world is able to strive against him.

The saying of the ancients that "the partial becomes complete" was not vainly spoken. All real completion is comprehended under it.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

(Vrs #22, Tao Te Ching)

A student asked a monk, "What happens after enlightenment?" The reply, "Chop wood, carry water."

david
(who is still trying too hard to understand the above words.

)

PS. Just thinking, the modern version of "Chop wood, carry water" would be, "One $hits and pisses like everyone else. So turn on the fan when doing #1, up the toilet seat and make sure the aim is true on #2." Of course, my wife yells at me whenever I forget to follow the above.

[This message has been edited by david (edited January 09, 2002).]

Post by **gmattson** » Wed Jan 09, 2002 2:50 pm

Right on David!!!!

Gary... Don't take life so seriously. . .

Sometimes we focus (and interpret)too much on things that have been said, words that have been spoken; more so than what the writer/speaker intended.

Focus on areas of life that interest you, associate with people you enjoy and respect. Forget all the rest.

When posting, avoid discussing negatives and making statements that people might misunderstand or take personally. There are so many subjects we all can address in a positive way, why waste time and energy dealing with past personal experiences that our audience can't relate to or understand.

Good to see you active on the boards Gary... Don't let a few bad (and past) experiences turn you into a bitter old man.

GSantaniello · Post by **GSantaniello** » Thu Jan 10, 2002 12:00 am

David,

Nice post ! Thanks for your input.

George,

Yes, you make a good point. As i know you understand (what others may not) i will let this die. Point has been made.

Hope you are enjoying Florida.

Respectfully,

------------------

Gary S.

Panther · Post by **Panther** » Thu Jan 10, 2002 3:55 am

I just looooove this type of thread!

It comes down to two things that everyone has to remember...

1) We all put on our underwear the same way.

2) There is always someone(s) who is (are) bigger, badder, meaner, tougher... (usually at the worst possible time!)

And...

Yes...

I'm still alive and around/lurking/watching, just having to deal with the deck that has been dealt at this point. (Yes, Gary K. ... I do my forms and try to work out at least 3-4 times a week.

)

Take care and be good to yourselves...

Panther

LeeDarrow · Post by **LeeDarrow** » Thu Jan 10, 2002 8:39 pm

David-sama,

You forgot Rule 3 - "After doing #2, PUT THE *&%^# SEAT DOWN!" courtesy of my wife.

With tongue in cheek,

Lee Darrow, C.Ht.

Stryke · Post by **Stryke** » Thu Jan 10, 2002 8:47 pm

Was having another thought , Sometimes ego`s a good thing , Mohammed Ali , Bruce Lee , It even worked for Mike Tyson for a while .....

another thread maybe

david · Post by **david** » Thu Jan 10, 2002 10:27 pm

Dog gone it!!! Thought I had it all down...

Thanks, Lee, now I know why my wife continues to yell at me even though I thought I was acting perfectly.

Light dawns (not enlightenment) on Marble Head.

david

Ted Dinwiddie · Post by **Ted Dinwiddie** » Fri Jan 11, 2002 4:36 am

Panther!

I have been genuinely worried about you. I hope all is managable for you.

Take care.

------------------
ted

"I learn by going where I have to go." - Theodore Roethke

Rick Wilson · Post by **Rick Wilson** » Wed Jan 16, 2002 7:18 am

Gary:

While all the advice you have been given is true. We all need our egos to succeed in the world and as long as they remain healthy we are okay. Everyone is human and as such screws up.

However, Martial Arts are supposed to have this happy side effect of improving your health, spirit and person. So there is a lot to you comments I agree with. Again, while I agree everyone is human and will mess up now and then, are we developing personally to be better people? We should. Then, as such, should we hold ourselves to higher standards? Should a well trained martial artist rip off someone's head in road rage and we say oh well?

So, while George Sensei's advice to not take life so seriously will make it all easier on you, don't give up the hope that this training really does work.

Rick

david · Post by **david** » Wed Jan 16, 2002 11:51 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>
Again, while I agree everyone is human and will mess up now and then, are we developing personally to be better people? We should. Then, as such, should we hold ourselves to higher standards? Should a well trained martial artist rip off someone's head in road rage and we say oh well?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Rick, No doubt "we should" try to be better people. Absolutely, being a human means being blessed/condemned with our human foibles. With the latter, we should try to cut ourselves and others some slack. Trying to be "better" means sometimes forgiving ourselves and others for mistakes.

Developing a healthy ego is everyday work in every day activities. In some ways, the martial arts is the worse trap for those actively seeking to do this, not that it shouldn't be tried. But here you have folks running around with cute uniforms with color belts and multitude of stripes denoting their years of practice. Some folks start to attribute great physical, mental and/or spiritual skills (depending on the perceiver's own needs, wants and inclinations.) But, generally, beyond saying that these outfits tell a little of someone's years in a practice, they don't say much more than that and we should really get away from reading more than that to it.

I tend to think that most times when comparisons get made -- "I am less, same as, or more than..." -- one is falling into a trap. Trying to be better -- whatever that is -- is a lofty goal but happens in the work of the moment, in our mundane, everyday tasks and interactions that often occur with no fanfare and away from obvious notice...

david

[This message has been edited by david (edited January 16, 2002).]