I've wondered of late if we tend to be more sensitive to direct insults or to sniping.snipe n.
1. pl. snipe or snipes
1. Any of various long-billed shore birds of the genus Gallinago or Capella, related to the woodcocks and sandpipers, especially the common, widely distributed species G. gallinago or C. gallinago.
2. Any of various similar or related birds.
2. A shot, especially a gunshot, from a concealed place.
intr.v. sniped, snip·ing, snipes
1. To shoot at individuals from a concealed place.
2. To shoot snipe.
3. To make malicious, underhand remarks or attacks.
[Middle English, probably from Old Norse -snpa(as in mrisnpa, marsh snipe).]
The difference is that with an open insult I want you to know that I'm coming for you. With sniping I'm kind of like a a little fish pulling at a carcass in the water. I zoom in, make a thinly veiled remark, tug off a little flesh, and zoom back out.
Insult: You are one mean bastard.
Sniping: Are you trying to be a mean bastard?
The first is direct, open, and clear. The second gives me the option of passing it off and being able to make caveats by saying "Oh, I was only just asking" or "Hey, I was just trying to get your goat." Very subtle difference - but definitely there.
Here's the fun part on the internet - without body language, intonation, context, rapport, and simple eye contact it is difficult to tell if someone is sniping, asking a real question, or making a joke.
This also has to do with baggage we bring to each and every conversation we have whether online or offline.
For example, I'm short. And most of the time I'm pretty good humored about it. But every once and awhile someone I do not know well will make some crack about my being "vertically challenged" in some manner. And because I don't know the person well I don't know if they're just poking fun at me or if they're actually insulting me but trying to hide behind the ruse of humor.
So what do I do? Do I always call out each and every perceived insult or any comment that can be remotely construed as sniping? Obviously not. I've somehow over the years come up with my own set of rules about what I'm going to question so that I know the person's intent and what comments or which kind of people I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and let it roll off my back.
So a simplied version of my rules kinda looks like this:
1. If you're a close friend then you'll get cut lots of slack.
2. If you're someone I've known for a long time or know through someone else you'll get cut some slack, but less
3. If you're someone I've just met you'll get little slack
4. If you're someone I don't know at all you get no slack (unless there are outside influences like business meetings, holiday/family events, times and places where - for whatever reason - I chose to bite my tongue to keep everything peachy.)
This is another place where ego has a big role to play. If I have lots of baggae and low self-esteem IMO I would be more likely to think of things said to me or written to me on the internet as sniping. If I have an appropriate amount of ego I'm going to be less likely to be concerned with sniping remarks. And, again IMO, if I have too much ego I am again going to be more likely to perceive sniping where there is none.
The internet is an even more special case because it is like a big partyline phone with everyone talking at once. So there's no way to be sure who is speaking directly to whom. There is no way to know which people have close relationships and which don't when you first arrive on a forum and it is going to take time for folks to get their footing to figure out how to talk in this new medium.
I think, oddly enough, I'm more likely to get all riled up over comments and remarks that happen in my acutal life than comments I read on the internet. I'm not sure why. I have visited and read forums where the opposite is true. Those places are ones where almost every thead ends up with someone challenging someone else to drop by for a fight or simply writing endless screaming posts touting their own superiority.
This forum is, thankfully, not that kind of place 95% of the time.
So I'm curious if folks are aware of any difference between their offline sensitivities to sniping and their online sensitivities? Are we the same people in both worlds? Should we be? Or does the medium decide the appropriate level of sensitivity?
