One Canadian Woman's Personal Story

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One Canadian Woman's Personal Story

Postby Akil Todd Harvey » Sun Oct 08, 2006 5:01 pm

I am sure that folks think this to be no big deal (just a man's life ruined), but i personally wonder where are the exposes on tv, the journalists are where when women are encouraged to lie to get al they want (and more than they deserve).......

As I write this, I am aware that I am probably going to offend some readers, but, then again, I have found that we in society are afraid and unaccepting of the truth, therefore taking offense. I can not apologize for what I am about to say, however I can only hope to attempt to undo the wrong that I have done.

To start with, here is a little bit about myself. Before I was married, I was an extreme feminist, with the hopes and dreams of equality, having the same thoughts and beliefs as others in the fight for true equality. It wasn't like the feminists of today, who only want to gain complete control, power, and to have revenge, destroying everything that the true feminists have fought so hard for (true gender equality). It is my hope that by posting my story and comments, that it will encourage other women, (we/you know who you are), to come forward and to tell the truth about themselves and their experience. Here is my story, as shameful as it may be.

I am a single mother of two. When I decided to leave my marriage (I was bored) I went to three different lawyers for advice. I was asked by all three of them if I was ever abused by my husband. My answer was, never in any way shape or form was my husband abusive towards me. To my utter disbelief, all of them told me the same thing. Unless I accused my husband of abuse, I would not gain sole custody of my children. They also told me that by making these allegations against him, that I would get EVERYTHING and more. When I asked them how we would prove the allegations, I was told that the courts don't require proof, and to go to a women's shelter, and that they would help me, and that it would support my allegations of abuse.

Having been brought up in a very religious family, I was very uncomfortable with this advice. I was then told by the lawyers, that if I wanted the full support of legal aid, I had no choice but to make the allegations against my husband. Having no money to pay for legal expenses, I did as I was advised. Reluctantly I took my children to a women's shelter. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. On the outside, it appears as they want the public and their funders to see it. This is however, far from the truth.

This place was a form of a cult, for lack of a better term. Male bashing was a top priority, and the administration was very adamant about recruiting yet another woman (me) to join this man-haters club. They even have a game plan on how to win in court. By following their simple plan step-by-step, I would not only get sole custody of my children, but also the car, house and land, plus finances for the rest of my life.

However, if I did not follow their game plan, but if I played fairly, I would lose everything, and I would be endangering the lives of other women, and would jeopardize any funding for them. The administration must have noticed that their brain washing techniques were not working as fast as they wanted, so I was 'thrown' at the other women staying there.

Terms such as 'sperm donors', and that all men were abusive and must die, were used on a daily basis. They were very convincing, and not wanting to jeopardize my fellow housemates, I went along with their game plan.

As soon as I said that I would follow their game plan, things moved very quickly. I saw the man that I was once married to destroyed emotionally, financially and physically. I was granted sole custody of our children, and because of a restraining order, I gained the house and car, so that our children wouldn't lose everything that they were used to.

Not only was there a restraining order against him, he was also charged with assault. The man who had equally created our children, helped raise them, and who loves them dearly, was ordered to stay away from them, and to pay me (more than I ever needed) support for them. Like I said, I destroyed him, leaving him with very little to survive.

My brother is now going through a custody battle, where my former sister-in-law is playing exactly the same game that was taught to me by a women's shelter, and my brother is in the same shoes that I once put my ex in.

Knowing how I destroyed my ex, and seeing the wrong that I had committed, I have made it my personal endeavor to help my brother with his fight. He recently joined a men's group, and he receives messages on the net from shared parenting, epoc news etc.

As he was thrown out of his home, he now lives with me, which gives me the opportunity to read the messages from these groups. I must admit, sometimes there is a message or two that is of great help, but for the most part, these groups have to stop playing 'Mr. Nice Guy'.

In all honesty, you can't look any worse than what the feminists have already made you out to be. Let's be honest, for many years, the men's movement has gained little to no ground at all. You have petitioned, demonstrated, run phone campaigns, fax campaigns, e-mail campaigns, sold t-shirts, hats and bumper stickers, to no avail. Still you continue to do it, hoping for something to change.

The media, law enforcement agencies, medical professions, legal professions, senate, government, judges, researchers, and the majority of the public are aware of the plight of men and fathers face, and still no changes have been made.

In my opinion, change will come only when change is forced. I haven't got the answers on just what to do, but it is apparent that continuing the aforementioned practices, is completely futile. Why don't we take a look at how changes were made throughout history, by both men and women?

I have also noticed in these e-mail groups, the endless discussions on repeated posts, where everyone has an opinion. Can we not do something more useful than repeatedly posting the same post, and using our energy on more important matters? How many more statistics, reports, discussions, debates and opinions is it going to take before we say, "enough is enough"?

What is it going to take to get you guys to finally force the necessary changes to bring about gender equality? Having said all of this, I wish to say a couple of more things of importance. The true feminists do believe in gender equality, and really do have the children's best interests at heart. We do not wish to destroy or restrict anyone from what is constitutionally theirs. I know that there are true feminists such as Erin Pizzey and Senator Anne Cools, that are fighting for true gender equality.

We need to stop today's radical feminists, who don't seem to realize that today's accomplishments will be tomorrow's devastation. They only see one thing, the need to gain EVERYTHING for themselves, regardless of the price.

I encourage you to forward your stories of truth, for having done so myself, I feel that I can now truly fight for true gender equality.

Why did she ruin her husbands life?

She was bored and she didn’t want to share custody of her children with THEIR FATHER

How did the courts help ruin the man’s life?

They don’t require any form of PROOF of allegations made……..

What is she doing now?

Complaining about what little men’s groups are doing (complaining about men again)………
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Akil Todd Harvey
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Postby IJ » Sun Oct 08, 2006 7:37 pm

Wow, that's very interesting. Very concerning if true. But... here we have a statement of a horrific crime against a man and against their children, and a statement that she's very sorry, and she says nothing whatsoever about making amends. She doesn't say she's offered to make it right. She doesn't say she's admitted guilt to authorities. She doesn't comment on efforts to expose the shelter cult. She makes no mention of any publicity or news arising from her shocking revelation. Now, why might that be? Don't you think that this kind of a bombshell might lead to other news regarding the husband's clearing legally, his regaining lost time and wages, charges against her, and commentary from all sorts of pundits? I sure do. Where is it? This is the kind of lookup that one ought to do before posting aggresively ideologic statements on the forum: show that there's even a shred of evidence that this is true.

It may well be, and in that case, I hope she gets what she's coming to her, and I hope that he does too, and those poor kids learn to forgive her or move on. But I have my doubts. We'll see what ATH pulls together to substantiate this incredible story.

Meanwhile, this came from the same site and bears mention:

"In studying the problems of families, marriage, and related violence some simple facts emerge from study after study:

• The safest place for a child is with their biological father.

• The safest place for a woman is in her home married to the biological father of her children.

• Men and women are equally violent in domestic relationships.

• "Any country that has tried to create a political solution to human problems has ended up with concentration camps and gulags." (Erin Pizzey)"

1) What studies? Where are the citations?
2) are we even comparing apples and oranges? Just because single women escaping abuse into a shelter might have higher injury rates than all married women, that doesn't mean an abused woman is better off staying at home. We are not told what groups are compared, maybe those groups aren't the ones she's talking about, but this generallity seems to be made to suggest that women ought not leave their relationships, and no caveats are made!
3) are the underlying stats reliable? How do you know if your samples of women at home and women leaving home are representative? How do you know if all stories of abuse or nonabuse are true? No data on research methods.
4) Men and women are not equally violent in their relationships. This kind of crappola gets bantered around when a woman and a man who are fighting come to blows, and the upset woman pounds on his chest 3 times and leaves no marks, and he breaks her jaw with one punch, then they count the attacks. Wow, women are three times as violent! Here's the biggest measure in my mind--homicides. No gray area there. Let's see:

Something for ATH to read, think about, and maybe consider addressing. The only things we hear from him are paranoid antimisandry, so perhaps he could mix it up a little and acknowledge problems on both sides? ATH? Bueller? Bueller?
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Postby CANDANeh » Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:29 pm

Not true...
Don`t believe all you read
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Postby IJ » Mon Oct 09, 2006 6:08 pm

Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Where's the substantiation? Anyone? Bueller?

What was that? A pin? :)
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Postby Mary S » Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:57 pm

Akil, who the hell is Marion Winters?
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