What makes you a better person?

chef · Post by **chef** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:30 pm

I am going to leave this wide open and open for interpretation.

Regards,
Vicki

Van Canna · Post by **Van Canna** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:58 pm

Well...the practice of Uechi

So we have been conditioned to believe

But look around

TSDguy · Post by **TSDguy** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:59 pm

In terms of living in a civilization, empathy with a dash of sympathy.

chef · Post by **chef** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:27 am

...so, do you consider yourself a good person?

Are you happy with who you are as a person?

Is there room for improvement? What would you do to improve you?

Vicki

Bill Glasheen · Post by **Bill Glasheen** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:51 am

That all depends upon what you are trying to improve, Miss Vicki. It could be...

More intelligent
A happier person
A more skilled person (job, music, athletics, etc.)
Improving the lives of others
Leaving a positive legacy

I've always had at least 4 things I would be working on at any one point in time. For example when I was in college I wanted to do well in my studies, improve my ability to play guitar, get better at karate, and improve my relationships. All these things were items that I thought would make me a "better" person.

Those goals change with age, experience, and wisdom. For example:

I am no longer trying to get stronger. Now I'm trying to get smarter at how I use my body.
I'm no longer putting notches on the belt. Now I'm trying to make the relationships I have even better.
I'm no longer the center of my solar system; now I have my kids.
I'm no longer primarily a student. Now I'm primarily a teacher.

And so forth.

- Bill

chef · Post by **chef** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:34 pm

Do people or relationships help in defining who you are or, maybe who or what you don't want to be or be like?

Do you find that people can affect you for the good, for the bad, or at all?

Regards,
Vicki

Shana Moore · Post by **Shana Moore** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:12 pm

Good question! Love and laughter with family and friends definately makes me a better person! Ongoing physical and mental challenges help keep me on my toes, so I try to keep at least a few of those active

.

Relationships can't help but affect you and influence you to some degree, but I don't think they should define you. Each person should have some self-determination or they are not reaching thier own potential. I've had teachers and relationships that have vastly impacted me, but it is my choices, reactions, and choice of legacy that define me...eventually.

tigereye · Post by **tigereye** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:28 pm

"Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

"Everyone and everything I love makes me a better person in some way,
Even those I don't love, make me a better person. " Tigereye

“Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better." Pat Riley

cxt · Post by **cxt** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:25 pm

Viki

"better" than whom or what???

I consider myself a work in progress---"better" than I was--not as "good" as I could be.

I define myself by my actions--not what or how other people view them/me.

There are people I strive to emulate and those that to me serve as a really good example of a really lousy way to live ones life.

Good question.

Kuma-de · Post by **Kuma-de** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:42 pm

Personally, I am an individual that strongly follows Abraham Maslow's Theories:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow

chef · Post by **chef** » Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:09 pm

I remember hearing "We judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions"....so true.

I believe in accountability from others you trust and really let in to the 'real' you that few see...friends, family, lovers/spouses can get to us worse than anybody and vice/versa. They can build us up or tear us down. It's a matter of coming to that happy medium where you can hear the truth and, hopefully, receive it and use it as a stepping stone to raise the bar in yourself.

It's difficult hearing stuff about yourself that is ugly but I am more able to take that better when my actions are addressed and I am not personally labeled because of them...or when they are said calmly and with love, not anger.

I have always heard that it's always good to have the following three levels of people in your life:

1. A mentor to look up to, to help teach and inspire.
2. A friend or someone at your level of faith, skill, in your job that you trust to give you constructive criticism and honest answers; someone you who can tell you when you are being a schmuck or will allow you and/or will sit with you while you cry or blow off steam.
3. A person you can mentor, guild, share you wisdom and experiences with, to help grow in a multitude of ways.

Do you have all three levels in your life?

Do do you allow yourself to be accountable to anyone outside of yourself?

Some thoughts,
Vicki

chef · Post by **chef** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 6:14 pm

Think about it, who were the first people shaping your life?

People do shape who you are...especially your parents, who become the models of what a father, husband, wife, and mother should be...for the good,for the bad.

I allow people in my life for accountability...ones who I respect and trust.

I would have to say that my mother-in-law was one of the most meaningful women in my life, showing me what a wonderful mother is truly like. Several things I always loved about her: very nurturing, very giving, and someone who always gave you the benefit of the doubt in any situation.

Very important person than and now still.

Regards,
Vicki

2Green · Post by **2Green** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:36 am

"What makes you a better person?"

Living as you'd like to be remembered.

--------------------------------------------------

Had another mini-revelation as well:

Hearing someone play a solo "mono" instrument like sax, trumpet, flute, etc., can be amazing, but without chords surrounding it, it lacks the context that chords provide.

Our life is like the solo instrument, the lives of others are the chords that provide the context.

~N~

chef · Post by **chef** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:18 pm

Always aspiring to a higher level makes me a better person.

Things I strive for:
- learning to forgive and not hold grudges;I try not to let the sun go down on my anger, but get right before the end of the day.
- learning to control my anger, depending on the situation and person (this is an on-going battle at times).
- apologizing and asking for forgiveness when I am have wronged someone; I am pretty specific about the behaviour that was wrong.
- interacting and loving others regardless of their socio-economic background, job, or situation...and some people are much easier and harder to love than others.

Vicki

Shana Moore · Post by **Shana Moore** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:18 am

2Green wrote:Hearing someone play a solo "mono" instrument like sax, trumpet, flute, etc., can be amazing, but without chords surrounding it, it lacks the context that chords provide.

Our life is like the solo instrument, the lives of others are the chords that provide the context.

hmmmm...revelation indeed...i might have to change my earlier statement, as it was too broad and dismissive...besides...this imagery has such lovely soul to it!

May our lives create beautiful music,
Shana