Moderator: Van Canna
Stevie B wrote:Girls just don't see that in their mathematics...
Apparently he must be on Steroids and possibly some other type of drugs... He had my wife's cousin basically held hostage in a room in the house we were having a party at. When my wife went to get her, he tried to hold her in as well...
Van Canna wrote:Was this guy a jealous freak trying to separate his girl from attention at the party?
Problem with such emotionally disturbed persons [EDP] is their unpredictability.
From watching numerous homicide documentaries, I've gathered that women in relationships with disturbed and abusive males need to be careful about how they leave that relationship. I'm no expert, but once they become aware that the guy is disturbed and abusive, they should stop pretending they are dealing with a normal person, appreciate that they are possibly in grave danger, and act accordingly--more like they are escaping from a kidnapper than leaving a normal relationship. I don't know how many cases I've heard of where the woman made their intention of leaving known before leaving.
Studies have shown that persons with certain attitudes, who have certain social habits or who come from certain backgrounds are prone to being wife abusers. The following are some of the predictors:
1. A man who witnessed his father physically abuse his mother. The message the incident conveys to a boy is that it is okay to settle marital discord with fisticuffs. A study found 80 to 85 per cent of men who physically abuse their wives saw their father abusing their mother. A childhood friend of mine came from a background where the father abused his mother physically repeatedly. When he got married, he was very physically abusive to his wife and this made his marriage break irretrievably.
2. An emotionally turbulent courtship. Courtship is usually a period when partners put up their best behavior in order to impress each other. A man who is physically, verbally or emotionally abusive during courtship and who failed to improve on his emotional control before marriage may turn out to be a wife-abuser after marriage when under stress.
3. A man that lacks social skills. Friendship is at the heart of marriage and without adequate social skills; such an intimate relationship will degenerate in to abuse of one form or the other. A man with a poor record of sustaining friendship cannot develop social skills over night after marriage. Marriage actually puts to test the social skills you have acquired up to that time in life. Show me a man who has very few friends at home, church, work place and school and I can predict his marriage will be filled with social challenges. A person who has poor social skills often resort to violence to make his point rather than using amicable discussion or dialogue to settle differences.
4. A man that has imbibed violence as his method of dealing with anger and stress. Old habits die hard; a person who can quarrel or fight at the slightest provocation lacks emotional control. Marriage will be very challenging for such a person who lacks emotional control because the wife is a human being who will have her own share of imperfections. A man who approves of violence as a means of resolving issues will be abusive in marriage; such a man would also be violent towards pets.
5. A man who was physically abused as a child. Physically abused persons who have not dealt with their hurts go through life with subterranean anger which can be unleashed against an innocent spouse. Such a man will nurture feelings of anger and inferiority and would be quick to read negative meanings to innocent acts of his wife; this can result in frequent fights.
The concern is now more what's lurking in the shadows for us..
The police did take written statements from myself, my wife, her cousin, the homeowner's wife and the guy..
You would think he would have been arrested for false imprisonment and assault at least, but like I said he really didn't touch anyone, just sort of had his body in the way.
They said they didn't expect much to happen, but would have to forward to the prosecutor..
I hope that I don't ever run into this guy again, but you never know.. But then again, I refuse to be afraid to walk out and get the paper. I guess I could go get my concealed permit, but that sort of seems like an overkill to me.. We haven't heard anything else and her cousin said he hasn't bothered her, so I'm hoping it will sort of fade away and he'll go on his merry way.. But you never know I guess.
What do you think I should do as far as avoiding contact with this person? Your advice is greatly appreciated.
Users browsing this forum: Exabot [Bot] and 7 guests