schwing

[Van Canna]

The act of subtly cutting off a car that is trying to pass. Usually on a highway, you close the gap between a slow car in the right lane and your car (in the left lane) so as to not allow the faster car in the right lane to pass.

You do this as many times as possible, trying to look like your not trying to do it, eventually sending the other driver into a fit of road rage.

We all know that as we drive...there will always be at least one A-hole punk ass driver [maybe more and in one car] that we will encounter. Never fails.

[CANDANeh]

Most are unaware that a car is simply a machine with a very thin veil to make it look "pretty" or "cool" nothing more.
In many countries owning a license to operate is considered a privilege not a right. More deaths/serious injuries are caused by improper use of these powerful machines than improper or unlawful use of firearms...way more. However, if we did not allow the sale of cars to A-holes the economy would take a staggering hit. I remember a time when there was " A village idiot"...Now the highways seem to breed countless

[Bill Glasheen]

I just thought I'd share a coloquial meaning for this word, Van.

Schwing

1. When Garth or Wayne (Wayne's World) pop a boner. How you feel when you see an extremely hot chick.

-number one babe, Kim Basgner...SCHWING!
-Casandra is a total babe...schwing!

2. To give or to achieve an erection. Past tense:Schwung (as opposed to the common incorrect form schwinged). In old English used as schwingeth. May also be used as an onomatopoeia.

Schwinger: One who inspires the erection.

Schwingee: One who receives an erection.

All of the above can only be used in a masculine context.
Origin: Wayne's World (movie)


1. Alas the schwungen slong!
2. Dost thou schwingeth thine slong at me?
3. "Nice tits...schwing", said the schwungen elf.
4. Schwing me please, thou beautious schwinger. Let me be your schwingee!

3. A "stiffy" or "boner". A sound made when an attractive female approaches or passes by.

"Awww DUDE, TOTAL SCHWING RIGHT THERE."

4. Characterized by thrusting the pelvis upward sharply after experiencing an erection or after discovering something incredibly exciting and worth such an action.

"I just saw your Mom...she made me go SCHWING!!!!"

It goes on and on and on...





Wayne's World 2 - Schwing

OK, class, any questions?

- Bill

[Van Canna]

I feel that defensive driving is a lot like being a WWII fighter pilot. The planes of the 1940's didn't have radar -- enemy planes were spotted by the naked eye.

Those combat pilots' survival depended on their ability to keep their head on a stalk, their eyes peeled, and their attention focused. The flowing silk scarf of the fighter pilot is a functional accessory...it kept their neck from chafing on their collar from all the head-turning they did. Such is driving on our 21st century roadways.

I think that the most important thing a driver can do to be defensive is to look, simply put. Look out the window, look past the hood ornament, watch traffic, watch the road, watch the shoulders, watch your mirrors, watch for animals, pedestrians, objects, drunks, police, martians, flying Dutchmen, bigfoot, careening taxicabs and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

I may be making light of this, but it's important...you never expect to see the thing that takes you out. You have to look for the unexpected. That's why they're called "accidents" and not "on-purposes."

[Van Canna]

Hey Bill...you can be a comedian...but I love it...

The second thing, and the one that would offend other drivers if they knew you were doing it, is to assume that every other driver on the road is a total, complete and hopeless idiot. Assume that if they have the chance to t-bone you, they will. Assume that they don't see you.

Assume they can't see headlights, stoplights, stopsigns, roadsigns, road conditions and most importantly...they can't see YOU. It doesn't mean that they ARE a flying moron, but if you assume they're going to do their best to ruin your day, you won't be as surprised when one of them turns out to actually be what you've been assuming.

It goes without saying that talking on the phone, eating lunch, doing your hair/makeup/nails, reading the paper and/or turning around to slap your kids in the back seat all take away from your awareness of your surroundings. If you want to be a defensive driver, make driving your #1 priority, and put everything else on hold as much as you humanly can.

So, you've holstered your cell phone, eaten breakfast and made yourself pretty at home, climbed into your car and you're ready to be a defensive driver. Here are some things to look at.

Don't just watch cars, look at other drivers when you're at intersections. Even if you have the right of way, are they looking AT you? If not, assume that they don't see you.

Few questions for you Bill...

1. How do you deal with the road shwing?

2. How about the tailgater?

[Van Canna]

I read a figure a long time ago that after midnight, one in 11 drivers is drunk. I'm not sure if the figure has gone up or down since then, but assume that every other driver on the road late at night is either drunk or a cop. You won't be that far wrong.

Watch for reflective eyes along the road at night. They're the best indicator you're going to have if there's a deer, dog or skunk about to throw itself under your wheels. How do you tell a pair of eyes from a phone pedestal or mailbox reflector? Eyes blink.

On multi-lane roads, watch the cars beside you in case they decide to change lanes while you're still in the one they want.

Keep an eye out ahead for cars swerving around something in the road. You don't have to see the 2-by-4 or tire to see that people are avoiding something.

Watch your mirrors for people bearing down on your rear bumper. Some people just have to get there first. Don't try to hold them up and impose your idea of the speed limit on them. Just try to see them coming and move over. As a side benefit, looking for insanoes helps you see emergency vehicles closing in on you.

[Van Canna]

Keep Space between you and the car in front of you

Always, always, always, keep at least 2 or 3 car lengths space in front of you. If you need to brake immediately then you will have enough time to react and hit the breaks.

Don't tailgate, if you do so, the driver in front of you will get teed off and welcome to the wonderful world of road rage. Not necessarily a dangerous thing, but let's just say the car in front of you has engine problems.

Your 2 feet away from his bumper, you have a guard rail to the left and cars behind you. That's it your finished, there is no way you can get out; you need to wait for the person in front of you to get his car running again or else wait for the line of cars behind you to reverse (which sometimes is about 20).

Change your lanes early!

I see so many people get stuck because they don't respond to an obstacle that will force them into another lane. Let's just say you're driving on the highway and there are 3 lanes. You are in lane 3 and you see a truck 200 m ahead with its hazards. Don't wait until the last 15 m to change, change right away. Or else you will be sitting there as you see the people in lane 2 zoom by.

[Bill Glasheen]

Few questions for you Bill...

1. How do you deal with the road shwing?

2. How about the tailgater?

If I was czar... I'd make everyone walk down the path I have walked.

I would make them ride a bike every day to work and back - rain or shine - as I have. I would make them deal with asssholes who do things like slam their hands against the side of their car/truck when they go by you, or cut you off, or even throw stuff at you.

Then I'd make them ride a motorcycle every day of the year for two years, sharing said bike with other cars on the road. Find out what it's like to be truly vulnerable. Know what it's like to be in a situation where you'd be right in an accident, but DEAD right. (I'm lucky I walked away from one...) Basically you need to learn to anticipate all the wrong things other people will do - before they do them. It's like sparring Bobby Campbell where - as Rad Smith would tell me - he knew what you were going to do before you did it. Rad was faster and stronger, but it didn't matter. Bobby was always thinking 2 steps ahead.

As with most obnoxious people in life, I think the biggest mistake is to engage them. It really isn't necessary. People with problems who are behind a wheel should be avoided. Let them bump heads with an equally obnoxious person on the road.

All that said... I think it's also important to be a good citizen on the road. If you don't like being tailgated, well then don't tailgate. If you make a mistake on the road, wave and mouth "Sorry!" It happens... If someone seems to have a beef with you on the road, do not make eye contact. And whatever you do, DO NOT FLIP THE BIRD. You just never know when the person beside you is packing heat.

If you really feel the need to do something obnoxious... Be the village idiot. When someone honks at you for no good reason, turn and wave to them with a grandiose style as if you are acknowledging a honk from a dear friend. It throws them into an OODA loop, and you are gone before they figure out what just happened. I've never had that technique fail me. But you have to get it right. Timing is everything. Experience with acting helps.

Just my 2 cents and some change.

I like to drive in a spirited fashion. And one time... a judge gave me "traffic school" instead of a speeding ticket. I was nice to the officer after all, and I knew to keep my mouth shut. And you know what? That day in traffic school was one of the best days of driver training I've ever had. If your state offers it, I highly recommend it. That course is all about being safe - even if that's also about being safe from the problems and mistakes of others.

- Bill

[Van Canna]

Excellent advice, Bill...but for the hard to control 'emotional high jacking' on many occasions.

[Panther]

I agree with Bill... You learn most of this if you ride a bike... ummm... motorcycle (my "bike" goes vroom ). I can't count the number of times I've talked with other folks on two-wheels who've done the weaving, cutting, one-finger saluting, yelling, etc. and pointed out to them at the earliest chance, "You do realize that little compact car can still squash you like a bug!" (thinking, but rarely adding "dumb-@$$" on the end... ) It usually causes a light-bulb to go off over the person's head. (dumb-@$$...)

There is one thing that really pushes my buttons and it happens a lot. I've learned to do calm breathing well because of it...

I really hate it when there is an obstacle, sign, construction, breakdown, whatever blocking a lane... it is OBVIOUS that everyone needs to move to the OTHER lane (sometimes down to one lane from either 2 or 3 lanes and very often there's even one of those highway trucks/signs there with the giant flashing arrow telling people to move over and that is very often preceded by 1/2 -1 mile by warning signs that have been placed to let people know to move over. Sooooo... I move to the other lane just as soon as possible. Often that means moving to the lane that seems to be moving slower or even stopped. That's fine... that doesn't bother me... (you know it's coming, I just hope you aren't the person who does this...) Here's what gets me... Are the inconsiderate people who think it's perfectly fine for them to go flying down the lane(s) that are soon to be closed, waiting until the last possible moment to flip on their signal and cut in on everyone else that's moved over the way they were supposed to and been waiting in line the way they are supposed to! 99.999% of the time THAT is the reason that the correct lane is going so slow or has stopped... because those people now have to wait for the inconsiderate to cut in. My peeve is that IF they have an emergency, I don't have a problem with them needing to go ahead, but the fact is that they don't. They're just impatient and inconsiderate and the truth is that their time is not any more valuable than anyone else's in that situation... and if I were "king of the world" (tm), I'd make them go to the back of the line like we did with line-cutters when I was a kid!

[CANDANeh]

I would make them ride a bike every day to work and back - rain or shine - as I have. I would make them deal with asssholes who do things like slam their hands against the side of their car/truck when they go by you, or cut you off, or even throw stuff at you.

Amen. I have had a full beer bottle whiz by my shoulder (cap was still on the neck after it exploded on the road). A few miles later I spotted the van at a red light but fortunately it turned green before my hasty adrenal fueled arrival. A Schwinn bike pump ready to be speared into the open window...I will never forget the sight of his hand dangling a cigarette out that window. Funny what imprints our minds.

Watch for reflective eyes along the road at night. They're the best indicator you're going to have if there's a deer, dog or skunk about to throw itself under your wheels. How do you tell a pair of eyes from a phone pedestal or mailbox reflector? Eyes blink.

One exception is the moose. How can something so large be almost impossible to see on the open highway?
Most often no reflection is seen from the eyes and they are more likely to charge the vehicle than flee. I have stopped for one on the highway after I thought I spotted something on the road...yes you can "hide an elephant in a smartie box"

More people are injured or killed in moose-vehicle collisions in New Brunswick than in crashes with any other animal. In a car crash, a moose is knocked off its thin legs. The moose falls on top of the car and its 450 kg (1,100 lb) weight crushes the passenger compartment.

Someone once told me to drive like there was a spike sticking out of the steering wheel. In other words scan, and plan ahead with all the information your senses can provide as you move at speeds that are in truth beyond what humans are capable of. We are a rather slow species are we not

I'd make them go to the back of the line like we did with line-cutters when I was a kid!

Looking in the rear view mirror I always see the same disgust in other honorable drivers faces as these self indulged jerks pass by us. Likely the same kids that butted in line passing us now I often thought it would be funny to toss out some tire puncturing items out the passenger side while I waited for the line to move. And of course I a friendly wave as I passed them later as they are putting are pulled off the side

[Van Canna]

Again it is the emotioal high jack that we battle for control.

[CANDANeh]

Again it is the emotioal high jack that we battle for control.

That battle may only be won when we take complete charge of the thalamus. This "Rosetta stone of the nervous system" is in charge of how we react to input. WAY over my head on this one but starting to get it. Age should help.

[gmattson]

I'm quite lucky, because two wheel vehicles of all kinds "rule" the road. Logs of signs and public announcements regarding "watch for your 2 wheel friends and give them at least 3 feet space when passing".

I drive a 250cc scooter and it is perfect for the driving I do around town. I stay off the highways and observe the speed limits. (got a speeding ticket with the Miata two months ago, plus a warning for "sliding" through a stop sign at a 4 way stop!) Cost me $160 bucks plus attendance in an on-line driver's school.

After nearly 5 years I haven't had one bad experience. . . but continue to drive very defensively!

[Van Canna]

(got a speeding ticket with the Miata two months ago, plus a warning for "sliding" through a stop sign at a 4 way stop!) Cost me $160 bucks plus attendance in an on-line driver's school.

How fast were you driving George?

And what does 'sliding' through a stop sign mean?

Gotta watch those florida drivers, you know

Are your insurance rates going up because of those two violations?