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PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 4:39 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 15, 2002 6:01 am
Posts: 1443
Location: Jeddore
Kind hearted Scotsman


My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.


"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!"


Being the nice guy I am, I thought, "What the heck, I'll treat her!"


So we walked past it again.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:03 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 16, 1998 6:01 am
Posts: 5992
Location: Mount Dora, Florida
:)

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"Do or do not. there is no try!"


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:06 pm 
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Location: Mount Dora, Florida
Sharing in marriage...

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.
This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered --


(Continue below - This is great)






'THE TEETH.'

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"Do or do not. there is no try!"


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 7:01 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 15, 2002 6:01 am
Posts: 1443
Location: Jeddore
GEM
Apparently you must know my father in law :wink:
Keeping with picking at the Scottish (sorry dad)


A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall,
holding hands, gazing out over the loch.

For several minutes they sat silently.

Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your
thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Then he blushed.

The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your
thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's noo time aboot time for a wee cuddle."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds.

Then he blushed.

And the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch..

After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

”Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my
hand on your leg."

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee.

Then he blushed.

The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.

”Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

The young man glanced down with a furled brow.

"Well, noo," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time."

"Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

”Aye," said the lad, nodding.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in
anticipation of the ultimate request.

Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first
three pennies?

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