There are no easy answers to this type of situation that for so many of us has happened or happens with frequency.
When it does and it is reflected upon later…one wonders what it was that triggered that event, was it a 'certain image' we projected? Was it the way we looked? What we were wearing? What we were doing/saying?
The possibilities are infinite, and the aftermath, whether we engaged or chose to ignore…can haunt us forever.
A review of Mas Ayoob book…'in the gravest extreme' states as follows
What I found interesting is that the author repeatedly states that it is preferable to avoid situations where one would have to use a defensive firearm. That is stated throughout the book. And he backs that up with situations where one could be charged with various degrees of murder, manslaughter, etc.
For example, you're walking down the street and someone insults you. Do you get into it with them, or just keep going? He explains that since you are carrying a firearm, it is your responsibility to avoid having to use it, if possible. So getting into an argument with some punk because he called you a name, which could escalate into something which might cause you to draw your weapon, must be avoided. Legally, it could be devastating.
If you carry any kind of deadly weapon on you, it might or it really should act as a calming effect on your emotional triggers.
The theory behind self defense or street survival, inherent in any martial arts practice, for example, is one of minimizing the risks in the big bad world. But we know that in most cases, just because we are supposedly pretty good at our practice, we find it difficult to walk away from situations where you want to teach some bastard a lesson and knock him to the ground bleeding from every hole he's got. So we think regardless of the consequences to us.
The punk/s bitch slapped your self esteem and you want to shove a dead rat down his throat.
This is the emotional highjack taking over, and a very powerful force that negates the unintended consequences.
But now, if you are carrying a pistol in your pocket, you can hide behind the emotional fence between you and the emerging highjack, by thinking that you have the capability of killing or rendering the punk/s a quad, simply by pulling the trigger of your pistol a few times.
See very vividly the punk rotting in a pine box down a six foot hole in the ground, then see yourself grabbing the prison bars you will find in your hands like magic…and it becomes a bit easier to walk away.
And when the walking away keeps bothering you in the future, you keep bringing the same pictures to mind.
Well…easier said than done.