The game of training

[dmsdc]

I'm gong to paraphrase from a book I'm reading right now "The Armored Rose" by Tobi Beck.
http://www.peak.org/~grainne/Ironrose/armoredrose.html

Basically she says that guys grow up thinking that physical contact means that there's an opportunity to socialize.

We've all seen guys smack each other on the shoulder or make a fake punch to the stomach or do the manly one armed hug & bump in greeting. Guys also grow up wresting with their friends, playing more contact oriented sports, etc., etc.

Women, for the most part, grow up in a less physical world. We don't usually punch our girlfirends to say hello. We associate things like being hit with emotional situations like being punished for something.

So this is the part of the book that really made me laugh. She's talking about sword fighting.

A woman steps onto the combat field for the fist time - she takes a hard shot to her ribs. Inside her head her brain says
"I did something wrong to deserve this"

A man steps onto the combat field for the first time - he takes a hard shot on his ribs. Inside his head, his brain says
"Wow, a new game to play, and new friends to make!!!!"

I know it doesn't apply to everyone - but it explains a lot about why new male students will come to sparring class long before new female students will.

Dana

[LeeDarrow]

Comments follow -

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dmsdc:

A woman steps onto the combat field for the fist time - she takes a hard shot to her ribs. Inside her head her brain says
"I did something wrong to deserve this"

Dana<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Dana-Sensei,

WOW! You hit it right on the head, especially with regards to abused spouse syndrome!

The issue, with many women I have worked with over the years has been trying to overcome the misplaced guilt that they experience during and after the abuse. Their emotional driver behavior kicks in to "make it all better," as opposed to kicking the perps' slats in!

I am going to get a copy of this book and recommend it to several of my friends who do abuse counselling!

Thank you!

Respectfully,

Lee Darrow, C.Ht.

[Akil Todd Harvey]

Dana,

This is a good post and yet it got so little attention. This is one of the things I find so interesting about these forums, their unpredictablility.

I would haphazard to say that as much as there are some significant differences in how the genders relate to others physically (how a punch can just say hi, glad to see ya), it also seems somewhat related to social class or education.

I was one of those poor kids (not in the socio-economic sense) who was not allowed to physically wrestle or play fight with my older siblings (I am the youngest).

I also did not do much of the play fighting which is so common among some youth. In martial arts, my kata is pretty good, but my sparring leaves a lot to be desired.

Seriously, due to how I was raised, it has limited my potential in the martial arts. Rather than complaining, I am stating my experience and how it has affected me in the martial arts. In many ways, I began martial arts to make up for what might be percieved as a deficit.

On the other hand, such a supposed deficit allows me to empathize better with newcomers to the martial arts who have a similar background.

It seems that the informal "play fighting" that occurs among children, etc is, in effect, a form of martial training (although it may or may not be supervised).

hypothetical sit ... Someone who never takes the martial arts "officially'' thru childhood, but gets lots of practice "playing with the guys" for a lifetime in some "tough" neighborhood has an altercation with someone who has had years of MA training, but usually they just do "light" or "point" sparring that ends when someone says "stop"........

I dont bet, but in this situation, I would have my money on the "non"-martial artist......

Peace, ATH

[Dana Sheets]

Hi ATH, and welcome back.

FYI: dmsdc
D(ana) M(ichelle) S(heets) lives in the Washington, (DC) metro area.

I think you're right on the money to say that what we bring to our martial arts training determins a lot of how well we'll do. I had an older brother, and we did lots of wrestling but not striking. So when I did judo for three years I was pretty good at it. Even now, I prefer close in Uechi to point-sparring distance. It is wher I am most comfortable. I'm terrible at getting out once I get in. Why? Because with my brother the goal was always to get in close and then get him on the ground. To this day I'm just awful at backing up once I've engaged. It's also made me look for joint locks and throws in the Uechi forms. There are many.

And yes - my money would be on the person who's fought all their lives too. There was a well known TKD teacher here in DC who got mugged a few years back. He threw a round-house kick to the guy's head and slapped him like you do for points. After the kick the bad guy was still standing there asking for his wallet, so the TKD guy handed it over. Not bashing TKD here - just trying to show you do what you train.

If you watch enough PBS you'll see that almost ALL animals play fight when they're little. Since they are more in the Eat or Be Eaten world -- it makes sense. We've just kind of forgotten that we live in that world too. We're just built up so many ways to keep ourselves safe, that in general, lots of people forget that fighting is a natural part of life.

Dana