They say bad things come in threes. If that's the case, then maybe the natives will be calm for a while. I don't know... Those who study events in the mathematical world of chaos note how there are bursts of behavior and long periods of calm. Within the individual bursts is another layer of bursts and calm if you look a bit closer. The pattern repeats itself again when you look closer still.
You can do everything possible to avoid trouble. There are days, though, that remind you that trouble can be minimized but never eliminated. Yesterday seemed like one of those days.
It all started when my wife called me as we were arranging the evening transportation logistics. She was eating dinner at the school cafeteria with one son as I was transporting another. I was getting ready to take him outside so I could plant another Cornus sericea 'Silver & Gold' on a hillside by my driveway in the remaining evening hours. As it turns out, it wasn't exactly a "normal" spring evening.
It seems that someone - unknown at this point - painted the words "Yesterday Columbine, Tomorrow St. C***********" on the locker room wall of my son's school. The well-heeled private school is separated into grammar, middle and high school. The target was the middle school rather than the adjacent grammar school that my son attends. Nonetheless, the peace was shattered for all.
Why? Who knows? It very well could have been a punk outsider breaking into the school at night. Yes...it could have been a troubled teen or pre-teen in the school. Is it a real threat? Not likely, but a call for attention nonetheless.
Later on that evening, I was teaching a class in a workout room of a relatively new commercial gymnasium. I had a good group in the small room. There were 4 good martial artists that are really getting into sparring, and one woman that I was preparing for a dan test. There are doors at two ends of the room, and a rather elongated closet in another corner. Occasionally employees of the gym come in to do business in the back room. It usually isn't a big deal. At one point someone came in from the basketball court side to return the scorer's clock to the closet. He shut the door adjoined to the noisy basketball court when he came in and when he left. No big deal.
But later in the class, a somewhat robustly-built six footer came through the door and left it wide open as he went into the back room to change (for reasons that only he knows since there are locker rooms elsewhere in the gym). The noise of 20 or so people playing basketball invaded the room. We all laughed at the rudeness, and one of the students calmly went and shut the door. About 5 minutes later the fellow came out. I calmly said "Please shut the door when you leave." He opened the door, walked through, and left it open.
Those of you who experience this know what I mean. It isn't really a conscious thing. You suddenly recognize that someone is either being dangerously thoughtless and rude, or is directly challenging you for no really good reason. The fight or flight thing comes out. I suppose I could have ignored it, but this wasn't a first time. It's a chronic problem. The threshold within had been crossed.
No...I didn't kick butt. But I walked through the door. I scanned the area and saw the individual had attempted to "mingle." It was highly probable this wasn't an accident. Over the commotion of balls bouncing and shouting, I yelled "ARE YOU DEAF?" He acted like he didn't hear. I continued to look at him. Balls began to stop bouncing. Here I was in full gi, barefoot, standing and looking. His buddies were looking at him. He then turned to me and matter-of-factly said "I'm finished." "SHUT THE DOOR...PLEASE!" I shouted. "Yes sir," he said.
It's difficult to describe this type of situation. What was going on didn't involve a lot of thought or reflection. Something or someone was acting inside me. Something sensed everything that was going on, and it acted without fear. It acted with a display of confidence that comes when one's territory is being challenged. It acted with a display of controlled confidence that is necessary to achieve the desired end. Understand that in 20/20 hindsight, it may appear like a stupid thing to do. Here I was a single individual (let's forget my students in the adjacent room) facing one amongst twenty. Very foolish on first blush. It's hard to describe though. The way this is done makes all the difference in the world. Lucky or not, the right thing happened. I don't think I could plan it right if I thought about it too much.
The thinking person will act more wisely. Prevention measures are certainly in order.
Nevertheless, it bothered me a lot. I can't tell you what bothered me more - the fact that I challenged someone like that, or the fact that someone would be either thoughtlessly rude (I'm beginning to think not...) or intentionally rude. I usually don't challenge people that way. But here I did, and it was difficult NOT to think of it as being potentially physical given the strange circumstances.
Later on as it continued to bug me (the mind coming in later...the thing you DON'T want happening if your life depends on action) I began mumbling to myself. It was after the workout and I was doing my routine for the abs and such, followed by a warm down stretch. Someone who was working with me noticed, and asked what was up. So I talked about it to her, and to another gym worker who was in the room. We all got into a conversation about societal rudeness, quick tempers (the gym worker said he had one), and the like. We talked about measures that could be taken to avoid the chronic problem ("Class In Session" signs...).
But the chaos of the day wasn't over. Jason, the gym worker, told me that about 50 minutes earlier (about when the rude behavior happened) there was a shooting across the street. Mind you, this is the very edge of suburbia where all the new construction is happening and the best schools are. But these things happen. It was a domestic thing. Someone who may have been a boyfriend walked in the salon and started arguing with one of the stylists. She argued back. As probably a dozen or more people watched (including two able males who were interviewed on TV later) a bizarre scene unfolded. The gentleman sat down and pulled out a semiautomatic. He attempted to chamber a round and the gun jammed. He fiddled more with the gun, and the round chambered. The hairdresser sensed what was going to happen, and turned around with her arms wrapped around her head. The gentleman stood up and fired the gun at the back of her head at point-blank range. She is struggling for her life now at Medical College of Virginia hospital, absent a bit of gray matter.
Later on that night, police chased a Geo Storm that fit the description of the getaway vehicle. The chase occurred in an area of town more typically associated with violence in Richmond. The small car ran into two other vehicles, and came to a halt. As police surrounded the burning car and ordered the occupant to get out, he took his life with a single shot.
- Bill
An invasion of privacy
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Bill Glasheen
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- Location: Richmond, VA --- Louisville, KY
An invasion of privacy
Bill:
Time for a weekend in the country.
And about basketball-boy. Don't sweat it too much. I actually puss out on stuff like this all the time. Reading your post made me sick in my stomach. I'm still sweating now.
Honest to God, I don't what jacks me up more: What idiots like that guy might do if I challenge them, or what I might do if things escalate. It's scary.
About 2 weeks ago, I was driving home and got pelted with a late-season snowball. I drove a bit further and then pulled over. Watching, I saw the culprit emerge again and hit another vehicle or two. Then he unleashed an attack on a young boy on a scooter. You know, a real urban terrorist.
Well, like all mentally deficient delinquents, this idiot wasn't stupid enough to create havoc too far away from home. So I snuck up the road and to his side when I announced loudly to his surprise, "YOU LIVE HERE"?!
"Y-y-y-es". . .he said timidly.
"GET ME YOUR FATHER"! I said.
Well, you guess what emerged.
"You're kid's throwing snowballs at cars and almost caused an accident," I said.
"Yeah, big deal," he slurred.
So I ask the guy if that's the attitude he really wanted to take in front of his son, when the boy had obviously been bagged. I mean, play the role DAD. Give him a "Jimmy, get in the house--NOW" or something.
Nope. Instead I got: "I don't care", "Screw you", -- you know the drill.
I went silent. I stared. I turned. I walked away. As I looked back over my shoulder, the kid was laughing and waving. "SEE YOU LATER!" The boy mocked with renewed confidence at his and his father's ridiculous & rude behavior.
Later, I thought a lot about the rebuke, the unfairness of kids being brought up in environments like that and about my own repeated inability to "show him", "do the right thing" or "make my point". You know, in other words, be "the hero".
In my mind, I can't chance the potential encounter anymore. To me, I could never rationalize going to court saying, "Yeah, your Honor, but he pinched my girlfriend's ass," or "Yes, but his kid threw a snowball at my car and he wouldn't DO anything". Or, worse: "Folks, we're all here today to pay tribute to Gary Khoury. . ."
There's no easy answer.
Thank God for the Forums!
Hang in there, sensei!
Gary
Time for a weekend in the country.
And about basketball-boy. Don't sweat it too much. I actually puss out on stuff like this all the time. Reading your post made me sick in my stomach. I'm still sweating now.
Honest to God, I don't what jacks me up more: What idiots like that guy might do if I challenge them, or what I might do if things escalate. It's scary.
About 2 weeks ago, I was driving home and got pelted with a late-season snowball. I drove a bit further and then pulled over. Watching, I saw the culprit emerge again and hit another vehicle or two. Then he unleashed an attack on a young boy on a scooter. You know, a real urban terrorist.
Well, like all mentally deficient delinquents, this idiot wasn't stupid enough to create havoc too far away from home. So I snuck up the road and to his side when I announced loudly to his surprise, "YOU LIVE HERE"?!
"Y-y-y-es". . .he said timidly.
"GET ME YOUR FATHER"! I said.
Well, you guess what emerged.
"You're kid's throwing snowballs at cars and almost caused an accident," I said.
"Yeah, big deal," he slurred.
So I ask the guy if that's the attitude he really wanted to take in front of his son, when the boy had obviously been bagged. I mean, play the role DAD. Give him a "Jimmy, get in the house--NOW" or something.
Nope. Instead I got: "I don't care", "Screw you", -- you know the drill.
I went silent. I stared. I turned. I walked away. As I looked back over my shoulder, the kid was laughing and waving. "SEE YOU LATER!" The boy mocked with renewed confidence at his and his father's ridiculous & rude behavior.
Later, I thought a lot about the rebuke, the unfairness of kids being brought up in environments like that and about my own repeated inability to "show him", "do the right thing" or "make my point". You know, in other words, be "the hero".
In my mind, I can't chance the potential encounter anymore. To me, I could never rationalize going to court saying, "Yeah, your Honor, but he pinched my girlfriend's ass," or "Yes, but his kid threw a snowball at my car and he wouldn't DO anything". Or, worse: "Folks, we're all here today to pay tribute to Gary Khoury. . ."
There's no easy answer.
Thank God for the Forums!
Hang in there, sensei!
Gary
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mikemurphy
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- Location: Randolph, MA USA 781-963-8891
- Contact:
An invasion of privacy
Gary and Bill sensei,
You guys ought to be high school teachers. I see it all the time and I have to keep it bottled up more times than I like. Since we are on stories, let me chirp in on one.
A couple of months ago I was coming up from lunch and I saw a little s**thead 9th grader flicking what I thought to be a lighter in someone's face. Now I can ignore the little things in school, but this seemed to be pretty callous, so I intervened. Of course, around his friends, this kid wouldn't give up the lighter, so I had to drag him into my room and call down to the office for an administrator.
While on the phone, this idiot pulls it out again to show a friend and I snatched it from his hand (oh my Quay Chang Kain routine). Well, I'm not a very tall person, but this student was about 6 inches smaller than me and 200 pounds lighter and proceded to push me. Of course, I was stunned that he would be so bold to one that could (and wanted to) crush him like the bug that he is; instead, he ran and I followed.
Now I know you are laughing at the sight of me trying to run down a puny little kid down a congested hallway of other kids, and you are right. He got away form me. But justice prevailed as I was able to persuade someone to give up his name, which I informed the office about. The lighter, btw, turned out to be a homemade taser.
Anyway, the real story is the meeting we had with his mother a couple of days later. She sat there and defended her kid to no end. I couldn't believe it. After hearing all that crap, I insisted that I wanted to press charges, to which she looked at me and said. "you hate my son, don't you." After looking at the kid, who had been showing quite a bit of disrespect to everyone in the room up to this point, I said, "It doesn't matter what I think of your son, the question is, do you like him?" Needless to say, she was taken aback at such a statement and could not come up with a rebuttal.
Well, I suppose I got in my licks, but it makes you feel so crappy when you get home knowing there are people out there like that and all the training in the world doesn't mean squat.
mike
You guys ought to be high school teachers. I see it all the time and I have to keep it bottled up more times than I like. Since we are on stories, let me chirp in on one.
A couple of months ago I was coming up from lunch and I saw a little s**thead 9th grader flicking what I thought to be a lighter in someone's face. Now I can ignore the little things in school, but this seemed to be pretty callous, so I intervened. Of course, around his friends, this kid wouldn't give up the lighter, so I had to drag him into my room and call down to the office for an administrator.
While on the phone, this idiot pulls it out again to show a friend and I snatched it from his hand (oh my Quay Chang Kain routine). Well, I'm not a very tall person, but this student was about 6 inches smaller than me and 200 pounds lighter and proceded to push me. Of course, I was stunned that he would be so bold to one that could (and wanted to) crush him like the bug that he is; instead, he ran and I followed.
Now I know you are laughing at the sight of me trying to run down a puny little kid down a congested hallway of other kids, and you are right. He got away form me. But justice prevailed as I was able to persuade someone to give up his name, which I informed the office about. The lighter, btw, turned out to be a homemade taser.
Anyway, the real story is the meeting we had with his mother a couple of days later. She sat there and defended her kid to no end. I couldn't believe it. After hearing all that crap, I insisted that I wanted to press charges, to which she looked at me and said. "you hate my son, don't you." After looking at the kid, who had been showing quite a bit of disrespect to everyone in the room up to this point, I said, "It doesn't matter what I think of your son, the question is, do you like him?" Needless to say, she was taken aback at such a statement and could not come up with a rebuttal.
Well, I suppose I got in my licks, but it makes you feel so crappy when you get home knowing there are people out there like that and all the training in the world doesn't mean squat.
mike
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Bill Glasheen
- Posts: 17299
- Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am
- Location: Richmond, VA --- Louisville, KY
An invasion of privacy
Gary
Wouldn't it be something if you had the opportunity to be there when this young lad was sentenced to prison or - worse yet - was buried in a nearby graveyard. All to often this is what happens with young boys that are given such free reign. Sooner or later, this kid will be the recipient of a "Darwin Award".
The bit about the ass pinching rang home for me. Been there, too many times. This is why I won't go to dance clubs anymore. I don't like the way I feel, and I don't like what the animal inside wants to do. I've been so very fortunate; either my date stopped me, or the impulse response ended the situation. I'd rather not go there any more... Damn shame!
- Bill
Wouldn't it be something if you had the opportunity to be there when this young lad was sentenced to prison or - worse yet - was buried in a nearby graveyard. All to often this is what happens with young boys that are given such free reign. Sooner or later, this kid will be the recipient of a "Darwin Award".
The bit about the ass pinching rang home for me. Been there, too many times. This is why I won't go to dance clubs anymore. I don't like the way I feel, and I don't like what the animal inside wants to do. I've been so very fortunate; either my date stopped me, or the impulse response ended the situation. I'd rather not go there any more... Damn shame!
- Bill
An invasion of privacy
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by gjkhoury:
Or, worse: "Folks, we're all here today to pay tribute to Gary Khoury. . ."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
With my newly released liberated attitude in full force I gotta tell you...
There's no way that trying to help someone else get on the right path is worth paying the ulitmate price. And that is a tough pill to swallow for most of us. The other side of the coin? Gary-sensei, look at all of those pictures of good, honest, hard-working, respectful, intelligent, future major contributors to society hanging on the walls of your dojo and realize that for every one that you can't help, you already havehelped a dozen!
And that is "way cool"...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bill Glasheen:
This is why I won't go to dance clubs anymore. I don't like the way I feel, and I don't like what the animal inside wants to do. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Then again, that "newly released liberated attitude" does have it's advantages.
Or, worse: "Folks, we're all here today to pay tribute to Gary Khoury. . ."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
With my newly released liberated attitude in full force I gotta tell you...
There's no way that trying to help someone else get on the right path is worth paying the ulitmate price. And that is a tough pill to swallow for most of us. The other side of the coin? Gary-sensei, look at all of those pictures of good, honest, hard-working, respectful, intelligent, future major contributors to society hanging on the walls of your dojo and realize that for every one that you can't help, you already havehelped a dozen!
And that is "way cool"...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bill Glasheen:
This is why I won't go to dance clubs anymore. I don't like the way I feel, and I don't like what the animal inside wants to do. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Then again, that "newly released liberated attitude" does have it's advantages.
An invasion of privacy
Very poignant thread. This is what makes us understand with more precision the “subhuman” concept that Tony was describing for us.
I know exactly what Bill and Gary may have felt under those circumstances, and I applaud them for having taken some action. But at best you end up paying a very emotional price, because it is always a no-win situation when you come down to it. You will always be seen as the interloper, tough guy, and karate fighter looking for something to prove. Spoiling for a fight to get a chance to use your karate or your bullying tactics.
The truth is more like you are so infuriated at the punk, the kid, and his a** hole father, that you want to wipe the floor with them, never mind talking. You guys are good at controlling those impulses, I’d have trouble with it, so I would try to just ignore the scum and walk away.
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Van Canna
I know exactly what Bill and Gary may have felt under those circumstances, and I applaud them for having taken some action. But at best you end up paying a very emotional price, because it is always a no-win situation when you come down to it. You will always be seen as the interloper, tough guy, and karate fighter looking for something to prove. Spoiling for a fight to get a chance to use your karate or your bullying tactics.
The truth is more like you are so infuriated at the punk, the kid, and his a** hole father, that you want to wipe the floor with them, never mind talking. You guys are good at controlling those impulses, I’d have trouble with it, so I would try to just ignore the scum and walk away.
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Van Canna
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Colin 8 of 8
- Posts: 71
- Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2001 6:01 am
- Location: Portsmouth Hampshire UK
An invasion of privacy
I’m with Van sensei on this one. A good karma gets me through the day. And as Bill rightly points out, he/she will eventually get it.
As for the ass-pinching bit my woman is 18 stone and is just as capable of crushing a man as I am. With her by my side and six children lined up behind you can imagine we get little trouble from the local riffraff.
Colin 8 of 8
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My name is Colin 8 of 8. I am very much alive and intend to stay that way.
As for the ass-pinching bit my woman is 18 stone and is just as capable of crushing a man as I am. With her by my side and six children lined up behind you can imagine we get little trouble from the local riffraff.
Colin 8 of 8
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My name is Colin 8 of 8. I am very much alive and intend to stay that way.
An invasion of privacy
There's a doctor I know who gets a stream of prejudiced insults at work and elsewhere. He used to take them on directly and initiate an argument about manners and rights and stuff, then remember how he was taught to deal with alcoholic patients. They argue and bitch if you say, "YOU have a problem," and they can just disagree. But if you say, "I'm worried about you," you put yourself on their team, and they can't deny that you're worried.
So now he just says, "That's not a very nice thing to say" to anyone who says something mean to him or someone else. He does it in such a benign way all the taunts and anger kinda deflate. They just feel appropriately shamed without being accused or insulted. It's as if he helps them realize their problem on their own. Those that are beyond help, well, you take the tact of not trying to convert them anyway so its less frustrating.
I also heard a talk from a black woman who lectures on how to handle racism etc in the workplace. A boss made an inappropriate comment at a meeting and she put her head on the table. After, she said, "I wanted to explain what i did earlier, i ust felt uncomfortable and needed to take myself out of that situation, and i hope you weren't offended or anything, thanks."
The next time as he started she did the same thing and he just stopped cold. Never happened again.
I'm trying to master the nonconfrontational confrontation, and its not easy. I do it well when i am prepared for a situation that may involve rudeness. It's far more difficult when you're unexpectedly and directly affronted. This just makes you want to assert your rightness and "win." But, I figure practice will make perfect.
So now he just says, "That's not a very nice thing to say" to anyone who says something mean to him or someone else. He does it in such a benign way all the taunts and anger kinda deflate. They just feel appropriately shamed without being accused or insulted. It's as if he helps them realize their problem on their own. Those that are beyond help, well, you take the tact of not trying to convert them anyway so its less frustrating.
I also heard a talk from a black woman who lectures on how to handle racism etc in the workplace. A boss made an inappropriate comment at a meeting and she put her head on the table. After, she said, "I wanted to explain what i did earlier, i ust felt uncomfortable and needed to take myself out of that situation, and i hope you weren't offended or anything, thanks."
The next time as he started she did the same thing and he just stopped cold. Never happened again.
I'm trying to master the nonconfrontational confrontation, and its not easy. I do it well when i am prepared for a situation that may involve rudeness. It's far more difficult when you're unexpectedly and directly affronted. This just makes you want to assert your rightness and "win." But, I figure practice will make perfect.
An invasion of privacy
Ian writes: But, I figure practice will make perfect.
You know, Ian, your post and the final conjecture in it is right on!
Simply, I think that the thing I, and if I may be so bold, the "rest of us" fear is that this "practice" often gets us, humiliated, insulted or--in a worst case scenario--hurt or killed.
What to do?!
Gary
[This message has been edited by gjkhoury (edited April 23, 2001).]
You know, Ian, your post and the final conjecture in it is right on!
Simply, I think that the thing I, and if I may be so bold, the "rest of us" fear is that this "practice" often gets us, humiliated, insulted or--in a worst case scenario--hurt or killed.
What to do?!
Gary
[This message has been edited by gjkhoury (edited April 23, 2001).]
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Bill Glasheen
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An invasion of privacy
Clearly there are different ideal responses to different situations.
The extreme example of the risk of doing nothing is the "domestic" situation I cited above. The recipient of the bullet obviously did not benefit from a passive approach once the arguing had reached a certain point. Given that the male entered the beauty salon with weapon, he most likely understood what would happen and planned the whole scenario. It's difficult to judge that situation without more facts, but clearly nobody deserves execution (or abuse of a number of different types) from an "acquaintence". On the other end of the spectrum, the vast majority of situations are best handled with proper control of oneself and good verbal skills.
In my situation with the rude club member, I had endured behavior like that before and nicely requested a simple action after having once been treated rudely. It could have been handled differently, and I subequently did indeed have a discussion with a club manager. I plan on follow-up of that discussion. I think there are situations though where a controlled outburst is appropriate and beneficial. But one has to choose those battles wisely.
- Bill
The extreme example of the risk of doing nothing is the "domestic" situation I cited above. The recipient of the bullet obviously did not benefit from a passive approach once the arguing had reached a certain point. Given that the male entered the beauty salon with weapon, he most likely understood what would happen and planned the whole scenario. It's difficult to judge that situation without more facts, but clearly nobody deserves execution (or abuse of a number of different types) from an "acquaintence". On the other end of the spectrum, the vast majority of situations are best handled with proper control of oneself and good verbal skills.
In my situation with the rude club member, I had endured behavior like that before and nicely requested a simple action after having once been treated rudely. It could have been handled differently, and I subequently did indeed have a discussion with a club manager. I plan on follow-up of that discussion. I think there are situations though where a controlled outburst is appropriate and beneficial. But one has to choose those battles wisely.
- Bill
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Ted Dinwiddie
- Posts: 537
- Joined: Thu Sep 16, 1999 6:01 am
- Location: Charlottesville,VA,USA
An invasion of privacy
I think there is a tendency for alot of serious martial artists to want to "right wrongs" or "defend the innocent." Many people gravitate to MA practice to compensate for or rise above feelings of fear and vulnerability. There is a sensitivity to attitudes of intimidation and rudeness. "Who's gonna stop me?" Once a level of skill in MA has been achieved, one is tempted to say "I am!" People who make a practice of invading the space (both physical and psychological) of others with impunity bring out that sense of righteousness that is empowered by a feeling of ability; sometimes it can even be a feeling of responsibility. Personally, bullies make me boil inside.
This is a difficult conflict that can simmer inside and become really unhealthy I think. Feeling like maybe you could do something about it makes you wonder if you should do something about it, but your sense of reason over-rides the impulse without removing it. Kind of like that little sign some people have in their offices about the definition of stress—When your mind over-rides your desire to choke the $hit out of some a$$hole that desperately needs it.
Incidently, Bill, as the class instructor, you were virtually obligated to at least say something to someone who disrupts your class. The fact that it was a KARATE class adds the element of conflict to your righteousness. Had you been teaching a yoga class...
just some randomness from
ted
This is a difficult conflict that can simmer inside and become really unhealthy I think. Feeling like maybe you could do something about it makes you wonder if you should do something about it, but your sense of reason over-rides the impulse without removing it. Kind of like that little sign some people have in their offices about the definition of stress—When your mind over-rides your desire to choke the $hit out of some a$$hole that desperately needs it.
Incidently, Bill, as the class instructor, you were virtually obligated to at least say something to someone who disrupts your class. The fact that it was a KARATE class adds the element of conflict to your righteousness. Had you been teaching a yoga class...
just some randomness from
ted
An invasion of privacy
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by gjkhoury:
Simply, I think that the thing I, and if I may be so bold, the "rest of us" fear is that this "practice" often gets us, humiliated, insulted or--in a worst case scenario--hurt or killed.
What to do?!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Keep training, keep learning, keep living and above all, be "at peace" with your decisions and your life...
Thanks everyone for the excellent thread...
Simply, I think that the thing I, and if I may be so bold, the "rest of us" fear is that this "practice" often gets us, humiliated, insulted or--in a worst case scenario--hurt or killed.
What to do?!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Keep training, keep learning, keep living and above all, be "at peace" with your decisions and your life...
Thanks everyone for the excellent thread...
An invasion of privacy
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panther:
Keep training, keep learning, keep living and above all, be "at peace" with your decisions and your life...
Thanks everyone for the excellent thread...
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Brilliant response, Panther-Sensei!
In high School (I went there just after they had been invented), I won a fight by taking a hit to the chops and looking at the guy, dabbing a towel to my bleeding lip and quietly asking, "Are you satisfied?" in a calm, non-accusatory tone.
The guy not only apologized, but actually turned himself around - he was one of those "I'll fight you anywhere, any time types" so saturated with insecurity that's so prevalent in high schools even to this day.
I was ni-kyu at the time (in a style related to Uechi-ryu) and I have no doubt that, had it gone differently, we both would have wound up at the nurse's office or the hospital.
It just wasn't worth it.
It rarely is.
Respectfully,
Lee Darrow
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"No matter where you go, there you MIGHT be!" - Heisenberg
Keep training, keep learning, keep living and above all, be "at peace" with your decisions and your life...
Thanks everyone for the excellent thread...
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Brilliant response, Panther-Sensei!
In high School (I went there just after they had been invented), I won a fight by taking a hit to the chops and looking at the guy, dabbing a towel to my bleeding lip and quietly asking, "Are you satisfied?" in a calm, non-accusatory tone.
The guy not only apologized, but actually turned himself around - he was one of those "I'll fight you anywhere, any time types" so saturated with insecurity that's so prevalent in high schools even to this day.
I was ni-kyu at the time (in a style related to Uechi-ryu) and I have no doubt that, had it gone differently, we both would have wound up at the nurse's office or the hospital.
It just wasn't worth it.
It rarely is.
Respectfully,
Lee Darrow
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"No matter where you go, there you MIGHT be!" - Heisenberg
