Hi-
Question: how many of the Sensei's out there have spouses training in their dojo? It seems like there aren't too many "teams" like that.
K
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Bill Glasheen
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I know of a few. The best prototype I can think of are Buzzy and Judy Durkin. IMHO, you can't find two better human beings. (Actually I keep kidding Buzzy about being lucky to have Judy... 
).
Let's not forget the Babtistas.
There is one martial arts couple that is very well known that... well... not my favorite people. PR man with hatchette woman in the background. My lips are sealed.
Actually my dissertation advisor and his wife were both on my dissertation committee. They were like yin and yang in many ways. He was cold, Swiss, short, and logical. She was warm, French, tall, and was called "the department mother." Interesting combination... but not martial arts. Very rare brand of nepotism in academia.
I know of some others... Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. But then half of all marriages fail anyway, so I guess the statistics just reflect what we see in the population in general.
- Bill
).Let's not forget the Babtistas.
There is one martial arts couple that is very well known that... well... not my favorite people. PR man with hatchette woman in the background. My lips are sealed.
Actually my dissertation advisor and his wife were both on my dissertation committee. They were like yin and yang in many ways. He was cold, Swiss, short, and logical. She was warm, French, tall, and was called "the department mother." Interesting combination... but not martial arts. Very rare brand of nepotism in academia.
I know of some others... Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. But then half of all marriages fail anyway, so I guess the statistics just reflect what we see in the population in general.
- Bill
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Oh yes! Mr. Durkin! My husband worked with him for quite a while. 
He was also too busy to read my book. But I recognize his name that's for sure! I've seen tapes of demonstrations from some years ago with he and he wife while Steve was still at their dojo.
The other names The Babtista's I recognize but haven't been able to speak or meet them I don't think.
I was just curious- Uechi-Ryu is such a part of my husband's life, I couldn't imagine not participating with him, plus, it has done so much for my own healing and growing as a person. I just wondered why I hadn't seen more wives out there doing there thing, right along with their husbands. Or husbands with wives for that matter.
Thanks for the info! Enjoy your holiday!
K-
He was also too busy to read my book. But I recognize his name that's for sure! I've seen tapes of demonstrations from some years ago with he and he wife while Steve was still at their dojo. The other names The Babtista's I recognize but haven't been able to speak or meet them I don't think.
I was just curious- Uechi-Ryu is such a part of my husband's life, I couldn't imagine not participating with him, plus, it has done so much for my own healing and growing as a person. I just wondered why I hadn't seen more wives out there doing there thing, right along with their husbands. Or husbands with wives for that matter.
Thanks for the info! Enjoy your holiday!
K-
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Kerry,
I think that husbands and wives often compete too much to be able to workout together. Each often wants his/her own space, something all his/her own.
I have taken atleast three courses in college with my husband. We most definitely competed for the highest grade. I think maybe with two strong personalities, that happens. It starts out in fun and jest and then spirals out of control sometimes. Don't know why.
I have worked out in my husband's Wado-Ryu dojo while waiting for my sensei to set up another Uechi dojo. We ended up one night getting mad at each other during light sparring. He busted my nose and I, in return, busted him a good one in the ribs. That was a long time ago when I had first started karate in my 20's...before my hiatus from Uechi.
I know my husband is very smart and picks up things quickly so maybe my stupid pride gets in the way....I don't want to fair poorly or less in front of him.
With us, it's better that he do his thing and I do mine. We compete too much which is to bad.
Hope yours continues to work out and you both make a great teaching/working team.
Vicki
I think that husbands and wives often compete too much to be able to workout together. Each often wants his/her own space, something all his/her own.
I have taken atleast three courses in college with my husband. We most definitely competed for the highest grade. I think maybe with two strong personalities, that happens. It starts out in fun and jest and then spirals out of control sometimes. Don't know why.
I have worked out in my husband's Wado-Ryu dojo while waiting for my sensei to set up another Uechi dojo. We ended up one night getting mad at each other during light sparring. He busted my nose and I, in return, busted him a good one in the ribs. That was a long time ago when I had first started karate in my 20's...before my hiatus from Uechi.
I know my husband is very smart and picks up things quickly so maybe my stupid pride gets in the way....I don't want to fair poorly or less in front of him.
With us, it's better that he do his thing and I do mine. We compete too much which is to bad.
Hope yours continues to work out and you both make a great teaching/working team.
Vicki
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Bill Glasheen
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I think Vicki points to an important dynamic here. Whether or not this will work for any couple depends a lot on how they interact with each other, and what they bring into the relationship.
The sixties and seventies were about making men and women equal, and tearing sexist stereotypes down. The research that followed pointed to something that we knew before, but attempted to forget - that is, men and women are different. Vive la difference! It's actually rare for a man and a woman both to want to do an activity that is traditionally male or traditionally female. There will be a heavy yang or yin atmosphere in each venue. However, people can make an activity into something that suits their own perspectives on life.
Also, sometimes individuals in a couple need their own thing where they get their personal batteries charged and spend time nurturing their own identities and preferences. That's not a bad thing; it helps people walk back to the relationship capable of giving and receiving on their own terms.
The fact that you and Steve can make this work for you is wonderful, and it speaks volumes about the two of you. My own mom and dad spent a lot of time doing things together. My dad ran his own independent contracting firm and then his own stock brokerage firm, and my mom was his personal business assistant in both endeavors. They made a wonderful team.
The only thing I caution is that you must separate workout time from the rest of your life. When you bow in to a workout, everything must be left behind. If you are fighting at home, the dojo is sacred ground. If you are feeling frisky, the dojo is sacred ground. If you are capable of this schizophrenic mindset, then you will do just fine.
- Bill
The sixties and seventies were about making men and women equal, and tearing sexist stereotypes down. The research that followed pointed to something that we knew before, but attempted to forget - that is, men and women are different. Vive la difference! It's actually rare for a man and a woman both to want to do an activity that is traditionally male or traditionally female. There will be a heavy yang or yin atmosphere in each venue. However, people can make an activity into something that suits their own perspectives on life.
Also, sometimes individuals in a couple need their own thing where they get their personal batteries charged and spend time nurturing their own identities and preferences. That's not a bad thing; it helps people walk back to the relationship capable of giving and receiving on their own terms.
The fact that you and Steve can make this work for you is wonderful, and it speaks volumes about the two of you. My own mom and dad spent a lot of time doing things together. My dad ran his own independent contracting firm and then his own stock brokerage firm, and my mom was his personal business assistant in both endeavors. They made a wonderful team.
The only thing I caution is that you must separate workout time from the rest of your life. When you bow in to a workout, everything must be left behind. If you are fighting at home, the dojo is sacred ground. If you are feeling frisky
, the dojo is sacred ground. If you are capable of this schizophrenic mindset, then you will do just fine.- Bill
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gmattson
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Good point Mike. Susan tried working out with me when we first met. She lasted one workout. Later she confided in me that "no way was I going to be bowing to you the rest of my life!"
She felt the roles played in the dojo might spill over to our "normal" lives, which is an interesting speculation.
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GEM
She felt the roles played in the dojo might spill over to our "normal" lives, which is an interesting speculation.
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GEM
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Wow-
Sat here reading the responses nodding my head- "yeah I can see that!" reading each one. And, Susan and I have something in common! I told Steve not to expect me to "bow" to him at home either! LOL.
For us- I stepped in long after he'd been established as a Sensei. We were a couple before I became his student- and I have to hand it to him- when we are inside the dojo- there is nothing else. We are both so focused on doing Uechi-Ryu that the other things fall away. I compete with myself, not Steve. He keeps his "sensei'ism" for when we workout. He's never pulled "rank" on me so to speak elsewhere.
It's funny- we are together 24-7, for we have the dojo's, our cleaning service, and the kids. Neither one of us works any job- aside from our businesses and household. We also both seem to have very strong "opposite" sides that seem to blend nicely with the other person's. My Yang is as strong as his and visa-versa, though that wouldn't have been possible without working at it- "for" the other person. Know what I mean? He has a strong Yin side- which was developed by being a single parent "with-custody" and I was married to a nag. LOL. (and that's being nice LOL) So we got to the relationship with the skills we needed to make it work, before hand I would have to say. But at the same time it takes a lot of work, it isn't easy knowing he knows more than me "all-the-time" (at least about karate LMAO) But he's also a good enough Sensei that he knows he learns from his students too. So there doesn't seem to be a competitive air between us. Only within us- to compete to become better than we "were" not better "than" the other. That make sense?
When it comes to the actual work-out, he doesn't treat me any differently than any other student. I wouldn't allow it to be any other way. Neither would he. It would degrade the purity of the style we practice. I wouldn't trust promotions, unless I knew I earned them, and I believe it has shown with the other student's attitudes towards "me". They can see that I'm "just another student" in there.
The dojo is very sacred. We both understand this, so that when we "fight" we don't spar- and while we "spar" we don't fight. We simply focus on the karate. It is kinda schit-zo, but I like it.
When I first started, and I got upset- I just wouldn't go to class until I "could just go to class" ... Coarse 4 years later I kill to get to every class I can! LOL
I can see what everyone is saying though. Espescially the "space for your own thing". We both have those- it just isn't in the karate.
Thank you for all the information and candidness. /It means a lot to know what other "Uechi families" are doing and how.
K-
Sat here reading the responses nodding my head- "yeah I can see that!" reading each one. And, Susan and I have something in common! I told Steve not to expect me to "bow" to him at home either! LOL.
For us- I stepped in long after he'd been established as a Sensei. We were a couple before I became his student- and I have to hand it to him- when we are inside the dojo- there is nothing else. We are both so focused on doing Uechi-Ryu that the other things fall away. I compete with myself, not Steve. He keeps his "sensei'ism" for when we workout. He's never pulled "rank" on me so to speak elsewhere.
It's funny- we are together 24-7, for we have the dojo's, our cleaning service, and the kids. Neither one of us works any job- aside from our businesses and household. We also both seem to have very strong "opposite" sides that seem to blend nicely with the other person's. My Yang is as strong as his and visa-versa, though that wouldn't have been possible without working at it- "for" the other person. Know what I mean? He has a strong Yin side- which was developed by being a single parent "with-custody" and I was married to a nag. LOL. (and that's being nice LOL) So we got to the relationship with the skills we needed to make it work, before hand I would have to say. But at the same time it takes a lot of work, it isn't easy knowing he knows more than me "all-the-time" (at least about karate LMAO) But he's also a good enough Sensei that he knows he learns from his students too. So there doesn't seem to be a competitive air between us. Only within us- to compete to become better than we "were" not better "than" the other. That make sense?
When it comes to the actual work-out, he doesn't treat me any differently than any other student. I wouldn't allow it to be any other way. Neither would he. It would degrade the purity of the style we practice. I wouldn't trust promotions, unless I knew I earned them, and I believe it has shown with the other student's attitudes towards "me". They can see that I'm "just another student" in there.
The dojo is very sacred. We both understand this, so that when we "fight" we don't spar- and while we "spar" we don't fight. We simply focus on the karate. It is kinda schit-zo, but I like it.
When I first started, and I got upset- I just wouldn't go to class until I "could just go to class" ... Coarse 4 years later I kill to get to every class I can! LOL
I can see what everyone is saying though. Espescially the "space for your own thing". We both have those- it just isn't in the karate.
Thank you for all the information and candidness. /It means a lot to know what other "Uechi families" are doing and how.
K-
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Hello all,
I've been training with my girlfriend for roughly a year, and it's worked out for the most part, with a few rules. Most importantly, we don't free spar with each other. There's an emotional component in sparring that some people simply can't leave behind in the dojo, we decided that it was better to not have to deal with it. We still work on applications and kumite, though I let her work with someone else if anything beyond very light tagging is involved.
-Mike
I've been training with my girlfriend for roughly a year, and it's worked out for the most part, with a few rules. Most importantly, we don't free spar with each other. There's an emotional component in sparring that some people simply can't leave behind in the dojo, we decided that it was better to not have to deal with it. We still work on applications and kumite, though I let her work with someone else if anything beyond very light tagging is involved.
-Mike
