<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chris:
I find it difficult to tolerate men who feel they have to prove their "macho abilities."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
While
I (or others on these forums) might not feel the need to prove any abilities... and having previously stated my opinion that walking away is the best thing... AND also recognizing the given that we should never, ever, ever
start an altercation (In fact, we should do everything to de-escalate)...
I must say that I was truly enlightened by the posts of many on other threads concerning the whole "alpha-male" concept. (Thanks again to Canna-sempai and others for the pointers and sharing of Mac Young & DeBecker...

)
For me, after following all of the de-escalation, walk away, let it lie principles that we've discussed... there
does come a point (perhaps for self-defense, regardless it's different for everyone in every situation) where the best thing to do is calmly and casually let the self-proclaimed "macho man"
know that you too have alpha characteristics... charateristics that
he needs to "let lay".

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
In my humble opinion, the knights and their round table faded away a long time ago; the brawling to impress women should have faded too.
Agree that "brawling" needs to or should have faded away,
however... Chivalry is
not dead and should always be kept alive!
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
--While it's comforting to know that there is someone in my corner who supports me and would look out for my welfare, I draw the line at someone else throwing punches for me.
I think that statement needs a caveat. I totally agree with the statement if/when referring to a situation where someone is just being a loudmouthed @$$hole...
However, I completely
disagree with the statement in a true self-defense situation of imminent death or grave bodily injury.
There's no need for me to step in to "defend my wife's honor" from someone who's namecalling... she can take care of herself. But if some man starts the escalation against her, I damn well
will step in! Even if it's just as a backup... even the
best shooters miss sometimes!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
It's enough for someone to just BE there.
NO, it's not... your backup has to be ready, willing and able to jump into the fray with/for you at all times (PERIOD). I was with someone once who got drawn into an altercation and then got
me drawn into it... As things were deteriorating, I looked over to realize that he had "excused" himself to go stand on the sidelines and watch! So, "being there" wasn't enough! Being young and stupid at the time, it really peeved me that he had "bailed out" on me in the middle of this, so... I used the opportunity to tell him what a jerk he was AND to talk
my way out of the situation with the other guys! While I was talking my way out of it, my "friend" ran to his car and left!
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
Expecting the man to step in and neutralize every threatening situation reduces the woman to a clinging weakling and puts pressure unfairly on the man's shoulders. Women are adults too and therefore should have to deal with ugly situations. We can't just hoist off responsibility to the men.
True enough and I agree... just don't let your
macho feminine attitude cause you to fail to utilize your backup when it's needed.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote
I'd like to know what some of the men think about women who expect men to handle threatening situations for them. Do you preceive these women to be weak? or simply productions of years of chivalrous tendancies?
Not always weak, often they're manipulative as a means to "test"
their man's manhood/suitability. (I know that's going to get some folks going, but I've seen it happen too many times not to recognize it for what it is...

)
[This message has been edited by Panther (edited July 27, 2000).]