The word “guppy” to some people might mean young and underdeveloped.
It is very strange indeed to see the word "guppy" under some names. Tony Blauer, for instance!
Student is correct about the status to member, which occurs by the amount of posts that one makes. I am not sure if it coincides with time but I was not a guppy very long, so I would assume that it is based on the number.
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What you call someone in a forum as in a verbal altercation, can affect that person's judgment of the situation. Some do not care if they are called a "guppy", "minnow", or "grasshopper". Some will take offense if you call them a gentleman. A very "macho man" I know hates being called a gentleman and gets very offensive when someone refers to him in that way. In my mind a gentleman is not a bad thing to call someone. However, in this persons mind it was offensive.
I like to use diffusing phrases.
<UL TYPE=SQUARE> I do not want to fight you. I am sorry you feel that way. I have sympathy for your views. Your opinions are noted and accepted.</UL>
I always used questions instead of statements. A statement makes you seem like a know it all. A question makes you appear as the student and the other person, the teacher.
Some diffusing questions that will make the other person reconsider his threats may include.
<UL TYPE=SQUARE>Do we really want to hurt each other because we disagree...bumped each other...have had bad day...are mad at someone else or everyone? If we fight, will our problems go away? Can we talk about this as if we were friends? </UL>
Questions buy time. It forces the other person to answer. They may say YES and try to provoke you to respond. You can counter their answer with follow up questions.
If they say yes to the question "Will our problems go away". Then ask what problems can be solved by fighting?. This is another question to buy time. There may be a problem that he/she is willing to discuss, but no one wanted to listen to.
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Question: Is it more difficult for a physically imposing person to use VSD?
This is a very good question by student.
I do not think so. That is my opinion. I am not large of stature so I cannot say with experience, that it is difficult for a person of great size to use VSD. I think that it may be harder for a person of smaller stature to use VSD when confronted by a larger person. The larger person who uses VSD skills, does not seem so imposing if their mannerisms and tone of voice was non threatening. I would assume that it may be easier for larger people. A large and intimidating person is not one who everyone feels they can handle easily in a fight. Most will back down from situations such as these.
Reality Self-Defense co-Sensei Josh Wiseman is a very large man. During a night out in a bar, with other summer camp participants, he was confronted by a large (but not as large as Josh) man. Josh used this question to quell the situation. “What the hell are you staring at.” The man looked at Josh again, and said “Nothing" as he turned and walked away. Josh forced the man to reconsider his imposing size. If I asked the same question of that man, I would not get the same answer, or response. Josh’s tone was not exactly as calm as one should have been in VSD, but he used verbal skills first, and it was in the form of a question instead of a statement. If Josh had said, “I do not like the way you are staring at me”. The other man might have said something different and may have escalated the situation. Was Josh’s size alone the intimidating factor or was it the question? Only the other man can answer that!
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Len Testa