Safe to walk??

[f.Channell]

My daughters have reached the ages of 13 and 10 and have started venturing out a little.
They like to walk the family Cocker Spaniel down the street about a mile and then back. They sometimes go the other way and go to the donut shop.
Problem is there is a level 2 sex offender registered 4 houses down the street, and another one working at the gas station across the street from the donut shop.
Now they go to Karate 4 times a week, fight in tournaments and do stranger danger scenarios all the time. But as I'm sure you will agree this does not fully prepare them for an encounter with one of these creeps.
I have them take a cell phone with them but there may still be something I am missing that I could have them do.
You have to let them grow up, but it doesn't make it any less nerve wracking.
Any suggestions?

Yes, the dog is useless. Cocker spaniels have a protection factor of "1".
F.

[Mark Weitz]

Problem is there is a level 2 sex offender registered 4 houses down the street, and another one working at the gas station across the street from the donut shop.

Wow, that is a scary scenario having these sex offenders in the neighbourhood. Your daughters are young and probably do not have the strength, alone, to handle an attack from someone who has been convicted of a crime like this. On the one hand, I agree that you have to let them have some freedom. On the other, given their age, I'd be hesitant to let them walk the dog by themselves for extended periods of time with two sex offenders in the neighbourhood.

Keep in mind that there are also sex offenders who are not registered because they aren't known yet to the community.

A young girl, 11 years old, was abducted off the street within 10 minutes walking distance from her house in broad daylight walking home from school in Toronto last year with the worst possible outcome. There were no witnesses. The convicted was a computer programmer with no criminal history but secretly was a pedophile.

If you can find a way to organize walks in the neighbourhood and to and from school that use a buddy system I would do it. Their martial arts classes and street proofing is very important but they are, in my opinion, too young and weak to withstand a determined predator.

Respectfully,

Mark

[Dana Sheets]

Have you talked openly and honestly with them about their right to keep their private parts private? There's a difference in my mind between doing stranger scenarios and really facilitating the girls' understanding of their right to make decisions about their bodies.

While I'm sure it's not something you want to consider - a high percentage of youth the same ages as your daughters are already sexually active.

Open, honest conversations can only help.

http://www.neahin.org/canwetalk/resourc ... /index.htm

It's good that the two walk together. But eventually (and soon) they'll want to walk alone. You're already doing much more than most to prepare your young ladies for the realities of the world. I'm not sure there's much else you can do.

Maybe some other folks have some suggestions?

[f.Channell]

Dana,
It's hard to believe that girls that age are active sexually. You can have one 13 year old playing with Barbies (like my kids) and another interested in boys.
A trend some of my daughters friends parents are doing is dropping them off at the mall in groups. The mall is not as safe a place as people think.
Many criminals make malls their place of choice to commit crimes.
My daughter actually told a mother recently she didn't feel comfortable with this (because her mom didn't) and the friends mom stayed with them.
Fred

[Dana Sheets]

http://www.cdc.gov/HealthyYouth/sexualbehaviors/

Gives a report on the sexual behavior rates of youth. One link takes you to a place you can look up rate of intercourse by state of residence & age.

http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/yrbss/Category ... 0Behaviors

However - it doesn't address oral sex - which has been on the rise among America's youth.

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/public ... 203_10.htm

that although penile-vaginal (coital) activity among high school students appears to have leveled off or slightly declined, middle-school students (ages 12 to 14) appear to be experimenting with a much wider range of sexual behaviors at progressively younger ages.

And here's a bit of a sensationalist article in Ladies Home Journal

http://netscape.lhj.com/lhj/story.jhtml ... cat2530008

Sadly the actual rates aren't known yet. However I think that's is good that some energy is going into trying to find out just how sexually active our youth and - and how misinformed.

In scanning some of theses articles it's said that many youth aren't aware that they can contract STDs through oral sex. YIKES!!!

[Valkenar]

Problem is there is a level 2 sex offender registered 4 houses down the street, and another one working at the gas station across the street from the donut shop.

Have you checked out the nature of their offenses? Level 2 means that they pose some danger but usually a sex offender is going to be dangerous only to specific kinds of targets. Obviously it doesn't make the crime any less awful, but if your daughters don't represent the kind of victim the offender is likely to go after, that may alleviate some of your worry, or in the worse case tell you that you need to be even more vigilant.

[f.Channell]

He raped a 15 year old girl and did jail time.
And often these guys plea for a reduced sentence so I don't know how accurate the ratings are.
F.

[Norm Abrahamson]

Fred,
The massachusetts sex offender registry on line is not great, but it does have some helpful information. For instance, I was able to get home and work addresses of a level 3 offender as well as his picture. You may be able to show your girls a picture of these guys, so if they see him they can react as you have taught them.

Sincerely,

Norm Abrahamson

[Ted Dinwiddie]

This thread hits home with me. I have a soon-to-be 15-year-old daughter starting high school this year; an almost 13-year-old daughter in the throes of middle school; as well as a 10-year-old son who is as much in the danger zone as my girls.

Dad's lot in life is to worry about his children. It is also his duty to teach them everything he can about taking care of themselves, while doing everything he can to take care of them himself. The world is beyond his control, however, and the worry, at best, is a dull ache at the back of his mind that never goes away.

When I first saw this thread yesterday I was listening to Margo Timmins of the Cowboy Junkies sing this:

Hunted
by Michael Timmins

Emma's in a part of town
where she doesn't recognize the streets
named for famous native sons
and out of every crevice comes creeping
a threat in her direction
Lucy's outside her home
heading towards her corner store
she stays on well-travelled paths
and is always making sure
that she doesn't develop patterns

There are trap lines
running up and down Main Street
wire snares thirsting for your neck and feet

Susan doesn't like the way her curtains
are blowing in the wind
She swears she locked that window
before she went out dancing
she stands frozen in her doorway
Judy hears a sound coming from the other room
she knows she should be alone
'cause the kids left at noon
to go visit their father

Quick to your phone dial 911
invite a strange man into your home
who'll be carrying a gun

Leslie's working late
she's got a deadline to meet
In walks her boss,
upon her desk he puts his feet
and says alone at last
Reanne's got a new boyfriend
and they're getting along
until he locks the door and says don't struggle,
I'm stronger than you are.

Just one question I'm dying to ask, you said,
do you know what it's like to be hunted?

This is the reality of our mothers, daughters, and sisters (as well as young sons).

I think I'll go work out now...